Race recap and moving forward

The race has come and gone, and with it a lot of disappointment.   I had done everything I knew to do; chiro, ART, stretching, moving around.  But alas, it was not to be. 

First off, the important stuff.  I was only able to have this opportunity because of the kindness of so many people.  Especially Susan Heiser, who organized and stressed and fretted and did an amazing job of getting everything ready.  The volunteers and judges who came out super early on a Saturday morning.  To my amazing hubby who supports me always and drove all the way down there, judged and drove us home (11 hours each way).  To everyone who helped make it possible a huge thank you! 

The race started off and I was on pace quite easily.  Obviously 5:30 per K pace shouldn't be hard for the first 30K.  But I never felt good.  My hips felt off.  At about 7K I started getting a pain in my SI joint on the left side, going down into my glute.   I did my best to ignore it.  At about 14K or so it started to really hurt, to the point it was causing me to tighten up.  I asked Susan if she had a hard ball and she found a tennis ball.  So I stopped for a minute and rolled on it to see if I could get it to release.  This took me about 30 seconds.  So I was now 30 seconds off pace.  I started off and did my fastest K of the day; 5:24.  The worst thing was rolling on the tennis ball didn't help.  I was able to keep at or slightly under pace for a few K, but the pain was just getting worse.  Because of the pain in my left hip and trying to protect it my right hamstring was getting super tight.  Then the pace started to fall well over 5:30 per K pace.  I was hitting 5:40s and at 20K I hit a 5:53, so I knew it was time to call it quits.  As much as I wanted to hit my goal I have lots of important races coming up, and I did not want to injure myself.  It was very hard to stop.  It was so tough to not fight to the very bitter end, but I've tried that before and gotten injured.  I know I made the right decision in my head, but my heart is still heavy.  What made it lighter though was seeing how well Ian did.  While he didn't make the time he did set 5 American age group records and stayed so tough!  It was such a pleasure to watch him and cheer for him. 

We decided to drive back after the race and just get home.  I've been away for so long and the idea of being in my own bed with my hubby was sooooo nice.  So we drove with two stops and got home at 3:30 AM.   We slept ourselves out and got up at 11:30.  Dave decided he wanted to go do a local road race as a workout.  I didn't want to race and didn't want to be in the cold for that long (it was a 15K race) so I stayed home to recover and rest.  I texted my chiropractor and asked when she had something available.  Because I am surrounded by so many amazing people, she made an opening for me right then.  So I drove out to Chemung and saw her.  She was great, spending a ton of time with me.  My hips were out, my neck was out (but my neck is almost always out after I travel that much, especially since I fell asleep in the car).  I was wonked out in about three other places too.  The biggest thing she found was that the pain I was feeling wasn't muscular, which was why rolling on the tennis ball didn't help.  It was the nerves going through the bone area that were inflamed and connecting into the sciatic nerve.  With the adjustment and sitting on ice and taking some anti inflammatory it's feeling much better.  I took the rest of the day Sunday off by her advice. 

Now the focus switches entirely to 20K.  World Team Championship Trials are April 3rd in St. Louis.  Since I know I'm strong I'm focusing entirely on speed for the next two weeks.  Short, all-out speed and longer sustained speed.  I need to move past the disappointment of last week and focus forward.  As they say, life goes on. 

Here's the little guy who was at death's door.  Looking great this morning!

And speaking of life goes on, nothing shows that more than spring time and getting new chicks!!!!  We have 30 new meat birds and 6 new layer chicks.  We didn't realize though that the meat birds would bully the layers, so we had to separate them.  We didn't know we'd have to do that so we weren't prepared for it.  Thus we now have 6 layers in our kitchen cheeping and being cute.  It's still quite cold outside, in fact yesterday it snowed, and stuck on the ground.  We have a heat lamp for them, but apparently it wasn't enough.  So they were huddling in some groups and we noticed that one chick was being smooshed to death.  I saw him and he was cold and barely breathing.  So we brought him in, warmed up the heating pad and stuck him in the kitchen.  By night he was up and aware and doing great!!  We kept all of them in the house in the warmest room of the house and this morning I was greeted with some very loud chirps!  He was up and running around and greeting the world!  I'm happy to say I just took him out with his brothers and sisters in the barn.  And with the second heat lamp outside everyone did great last night.  Whew!


Our baby layers

Time to focus, time to move past disappointment and time to work towards new goals. 

The fragility of confidence

Confidence is a funny thing.  There's a fine line between being confident and being cocky.  On the other hand confidence can be as fragile as a silken thread.  Sometimes you can see confidence in a person, in how they speak, stand, or act.  The dictionary defines confidence thusly:

1.  Full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing:

 

2. Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:

 

3.  Certitude; assurance.

 

The second and third definitions are more apt to what I'm talking about; belief in yourself and your abilities, being certain of what you can achieve and being assured of your success.  Not only is confidence important, but not having confidence can be equally as destructive.  What's interesting is when dictionary.com gives definitions they also give sentences so you know how to properly use the word.  Here is the second definition in it's entirety:

 

2. Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:

                His lack of confidence defeated him.

 

Dictionary.com even realizes that not having confidence is a problem, to the point where it can defeat you. 

 

So how do you gain confidence?  How fragile is it?  What destroys confidence?  How do you grab hold of confidence when you feel it slipping away?

 

It's interesting growing confidence in younger or beginning athletes.  They don't have many experiences to draw upon, and they don't know how progress grows.  You can tell them you believe that they're capable of something and they don't believe you, they don't have the confidence in themselves.  What I tell my athletes is you gain confidence by putting in the work.  It's not one or two fabulous workouts every so often, but weeks/months/years of hard work.  It's consistency.  It's every day putting that small deposit in the bank so that on race day you can take out a huge withdrawl.  It's all the workouts that you've done in tough conditions, getting out there when you're tired, sore, or just not feeling it and putting in the effort anyway.  That's one way of building confidence.

 

You can also pull off of prior experiences.  I did it once, I can do it again!  The body remembers what it's done and once you do something it's easier to duplicate it.  It took years to break the four-minute mile barrier, but once it was broken many people did it.  Once they saw it could be done they knew it could be done and it became possible.  

 

How fragile is confidence?  That's really a very personal question.  Some have unfailing confidence.  They always believe in themselves and their abilities.  I think a lot of that was fostered and nurtured by parents and coaches.  The converse is true, if you don't have parents and coaches saying they believe in you it's harder for you to develop it on your own.  It's possible, definitely possible, but harder to do.   Maybe an injury can take away your confidence.  I've seen someone's confidence shattered by one poor race.  Their confidence was so weak, so tenuous that any tremor blew it apart.  For some a single DQ or even a single red card can cause their confidence to evaporate.

 

If you do a simple Google search on "how to build confidence" you'll get an almost infinite return of sites aimed to "Boost confidence now!"  "5 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence." and "25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self Confidence."    

 

So why am I brining this up?  It's because I'm having a crisis of confidence.  The race is Saturday and I'm not feeling totally ready.  My body is betraying me.  I've always dealt with unstable hips.  My SI joint likes to wobble around and occasionally go out.  I've had it happen before big races, even during big races.  I've worked hard to get it more stable, and am happy that the last few years it has gotten much better.  I have strengthening exercises I do that really help and I can sometimes go months without anything going out.  But then there are times when I'm traveling a lot or really tired or do a long/hard race - like a 50K - that sometimes my body just goes out. 

 

When I got down to South Carolina I never felt quite right.  I got an appointment with a chiropractor that I've seen and he said I was waaaay out.  Okay.  Happens.  He put me back in place.  But my muscles were really unhappy.  They had gotten tight and didn't want to release.  You know that feeling when you try and stretch and just can't?  Yeah, that feeling.  And when things go out I find my core work isn't easy.  It just feels off.  Where I can  normally hold planks super solid for well over a minute multiple times, suddenly 30 seconds and I'm shaking all over the place.  That translates to losing a lot of power when walking.

 

The chiropractor put me back in place, but the muscles were grumpy.  Lucky for me we went to see the ART guy yesterday.  He said I was super tight through the hips.  Again, makes sense.  Stuff was out, muscles tightened up, now to get them relaxed.  After he worked on me I did a nice shake out walk that started feeling a bit more like myself.

 

But today I'm out again.  Chances are it's just because I was so far out it didn't quite stick.  We have an appointment with the chiropractor for a few hours from now, but it's getting to be mentally very difficult.  I've had some good workouts since February 21, but not many.  I don't need many, I know I'm still in shape, but what if I can't get my body to behave itself?   This is shaking my confidence. 

 

One of the websites from the Google search said the following:  Know your strengths and weaknesses. Write a list of things that you are good at and things that you know need improvement.  Excellent idea!   I'm going to do it in the opposite order though, starting with things that need improvement and moving to things I'm good at.  I like to always end with the positives.  Here goes.

 

Things I need improvement on:
* More core/hip/pelvis stability.  this is something I can continue to work on, but not a lot between now and Saturday.  However, what I can do is go to the Chiropractor and ART, stretch, roll, and massage.

* Figuring out more what exactly happens to throw me out.  Do I sit a certain way on the airplane that throws me off?  Am I sleeping differently?  Do I not stretch as much after a hard race?  Am I drinking enough while traveling so that things don't get bound up.  All these things are areas I can work on and improve.

 

Things I am good at:

* Walking long distances.  50K is what I love!  I have twice gone under the standard I need to walk on Saturday.  I know I'm in good shape.  I know I'm good at walking 50K.

* I'm mentally tough.   I know if I'm within striking distance of that qualifying time I will hit it.  During workouts I constantly play games with myself by giving myself time goals to hit at the end of workouts.  It works really well.

* Staying positive.  Sometimes I can get negative thoughts going through my head, but I'm generally excellent at keeping them out.  In the track race at Banks two years ago I hit a patch where I started to slow down and I started to freak out and I almost started to hyperventilate.  I finally was able to tell myself to chill the f*@k out and I got right back on track. 

 

I believe that if my body is working as it should I can hit the standard.  The thing that's shaking my confidence is what if my body isn't at optimal?  Can I do it then?  I thought I could do it February 21st, but the heat was just too much for me.  The weather forecast is so much better here, not what some would consider 100% ideal, but really darned close to it. 

 

So here is how I will deal with my confidence crisis.  I will realize the following:

1.  The only thing I can do is my best.  I can get out there and work as hard as I can, racing smart and tough.

2.  I am in shape to do it.  I've done it before and can replicate it.

3.  I am mentally tough and can push through the rough patches and enjoy being on the track with good competition, working together to reach our goals.

4.  I will go into it knowing I did everything I could do; seeing the chiropractor, stretching, staying hydrated and well fueled.

5.  I will go over in my mind other times when I maybe doubted what I could do but came out victorious.  All the times people thought I couldn't do it and I proved them wrong.  When I'm on the track getting tired I will hear in my head the things people have said and I will laugh as I once again prove them wrong. 

6.  I am a hard worker. 

 

Think about your confidence.  Where does it stem from?  What holds it together?  How can you continue to grow your confidence so that if something happens to shake it you'll have the foundation to hold strong?  Be confident that you can achieve what you set out to achieve. 

 

 

 

One week to go, new associations, exciting things on the horizon

I made it to South Carolina!  It's hot!  Holy cow!  Luckily it gets hot later in the afternoon and it's supposed to cool off by next weekend.  I've settled in nicely, and got a solid 30K in on Thursday, my last long one before the race.  It went fine for the course.  I felt a little beat up, but stayed decently strong throughout.  Today though I felt pretty awful and decided a trip to the chiropractor was in order.  Boy am I glad I did.  I was WAAAAYYYY out!  I feel like a whole different person right now.  Whew!  I have two bodywork appointments for next week; one Monday and one Friday, so I should be good to go.  Now that my body is in the correct alignment I think the stretching will be much more useful.  That's one way I can sometimes tell when I'm out or going out, I'll get tighter and tighter and it feels like stretching doesn't do any good.  Now that things are in the right spot I can get some good stretching/yoga in.  

It's great being down here and really focusing on training and getting ready for the race.  As I'm typing the Sydney Olympics is on the TV, so watching the best 50K walkers in the world battle it out.

This weekend is a weekend full of excitement:  AJ is racing at New Balance Indoor Nationals tomorrow and then the Hershey meet the following day.  He's ready to go, mentally and physically, so I'm excited to hear how he does.  USATF indoor nationals is tomorrow, so it'll be great to see how everyone does.  and the IAAF has a meeting where on the agenda is women's 50K walking.  Obviously I can't wait to hear how that meeting goes.  And what was exciting was during China's race last weekend there were three women who raced 50K!  Well, there were four, but one DNF'ed.  I think it's a huge step to have a powerhouse such as China get some women involved in the 50K.  I think that's major progress and very exciting.

And for more exciting news, I'm very proud to announce a partnership with AthleteBiz!  They are dedicated to helping athletes gain publicity and exposure and help fund their dreams.  Please visit my site and take a look and tell me what you think.  The extra exciting thing is you'll see a link to my storefront.  This will take you to Running Warehouse, a great place to buy shoes, clothes, watches, nutrition, basically all your workout needs!  If you go to their site via my storefront and buy things then I will receive a percentage of what you spend!  No strings attached!  They also have a great clearance section with shoes.  Please visit, take a look for some things you've been meaning to stock up on, and help me out in the progress. 

https://www.athletebiz.us/erin-taylor-talcott

And I have one more exciting thing to announce.....  but I'm not going to announce it yet.  There's still a bit more to do for preparation, but I'm so incredibly excited about it.  And no, I'm not pregnant (since whenever a woman says they have an announcement that's the first thing people seem to think of...)  So stay tuned!

Being home and starting to feel like myself again - just in time to leave

Walking our legs out at Sea World the day after the 50K

It's been 11 days since the 50K.  Recovery is going slower than I'm used to, but still pretty good.  The worst thing has been sleep - or should I say lack of sleep.  I don't usually sleep well the night after I've raced a 50K, and this time was no exception.  The next night I slept decent, however travel home was horrible.  It took us 16 hours to get home, and it was 2:30 AM before we stepped in the door.  I had to get up at a somewhat reasonable hour to try and get the house ready for Katie Smith's training visit.   She was supposed to arrive about noon but was delayed.  This caused me to have time to do my ab work on the floor at the airport.  I'm not sure the TSA people have seen anyone do that before.  At least they looked at me like they'd never seen anyone do ab work before.

Katie after a hard workout where she totally nailed it, going faster than she thought possible.  She was steaming by the time she was done!

(Katie after a hard workout where she killed it!  You can't tell from the photo but she was steaming!)

For the next week I focused on resting, recovery, doing stuff around the house, and working with Katie.  Katie worked so hard while she was here.  If she's able to keep up the awesome training consistently then be prepared to see her smash her PB's this year!  

I kept trying to sleep but various things kept getting in the way; phone calls, texts, (finally figured out how to turn the phone off while leaving the alarm on) someone coming to the door, and nightmares, so sleep seemed elusive.  Finally a few days ago I managed to get in a nap and that really, really, really helped!  I've also been working hard on my diet and making sure my body is getting all the nutrition it needs to recover. 

Maybe not the smartest thing, I'm still not sure, was racing a 3,000 six days after the 50K.  It went really well, but I was pretty tired afterwards, more tired than I felt I should've been for a 3K.  My first 2K were strong, but I slowed down a bit my last K.  Still one of my strongest 3K races in a few years!  14:13.92 made me very happy.  I was even happier with how all my athletes did.  They inspire me to work hard and keep pushing.

Another thing I realized about 20 minutes ago is that today is the first time in about 8 weeks that I've been by myself all day!  I had my wonderful hosts while I was in St. George and then I got home and when Dave went to work Katie was here.  I guess it makes sense why I'm a little lonely today. 

Looking forward, I have a 50K to do!!! March 19th is the day, down in South Carolina.  Ian and Susan at Caminata Training Center are organizing a race for us, which is amazing.  Weather should be way, way, way better, it'll be on a track, so no problems with surface.  Since it's on a track getting aid will be easy and we'll be able to get whatever we need whenever we need it. 

That being the case, the race is in 15 days!!! Holy cow!!!!!!!  I'm traveling down to South Carolina on Wednesday, so I'll have to leave again soon.  We decided to send me down early so I can get all the travel out of my legs and get used to the climate.  That and the ticket prices got stupid expensive if I left after that.

apparently our bird feeder is a great place to roost for the night!

It's been great being home, getting caught up on some stuff, and sleeping in my own bed. And most importantly being with Dave!  I hate being away from him.  It's been great seeing my kitties, but the saddest thing of Joe passing away while I was gone has left quite a hole.  I keep expecting him to be around the corner, or jump on the bed at night.  I think my other cats notice his absence as well.

The turkeys are comfortable on the front porch too.

Now to the weirdest thing.  Some of you may remember my blog post on the case of the mysterious white rooster:  http://erintaylortalcott.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-case-of-mysterious-white-rooster.html   Apparently we are a welcome center for wayward fowl.  Four turkeys have adopted us.  They even went into the chicken coop to munch on some corn.  They hang out on our back porch.  It freaks my cats out when they go outside.  They try to run out the backdoor but stop up short when they see four turkeys right there.  It's kind of amusing actually.  The only thing that's not funny is the amount they poop!  Holy cow!  I thought sweeping chicken poop of the porch was annoying!  Boy oh boy can turkeys poop!

Athlete #2 comes tonight for a weekend of training.  I've got some fun stuff ready for him :)  And some good workouts for us to do.  Then Monday I head to Albany with Dave for his training, and leave Wednesday for South Carolina.  

I'm resting, training, eating well, stretching, doing everything I can think of so that I'll be ready on March 19th.  I've got goals and a belief in myself that I can achieve them.  Now I just need to get out there and do it!


Thank you Honey Stinger for supporting me on my journey!

Happy training :)