I know a lot of my posts lately have been a little on the down side. I promised myself when I first decided to do a blog that I would always be honest and open and not try to hide things or sugar coat them. In athletics, as in life, there are lots of ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like more downs than ups.
Yesterday was a big down day. A big down day. I was feeling so hopeful in the morning. I had been to see my awesome chiropractor who does so much more than just chiropractic. She found that two of the muscles in my shin had sort of stuck together. After a lot of muttered "words" under my breath as she was torturing my leg, it was feeling much better. But she said there's a chance that I may have a stress fracture. I'm still hoping not, but it's something we have to have in the backs of our minds. But the next day I woke up with my leg feeling the best it's felt since Isle of Man! Still, to be on the safe side I took it easy. She told me Epsom salt baths, anti-inflammatories, compression socks, the works!
Next day my leg felt great! I was so excited to go for a nice, easy walk. I went out and got started. Felt a little stiff, as expected, but it was okay. But by 2K it was starting to hurt. Not to the point it got at the Isle of Man, but still getting bad. I was so frustrated but I thought, okay, I'll cross train. I'd found that the elliptical doesn't hurt it at all, so I would just do a hard workout on the elliptical. I turned the power on, jumped on, and the power went off! Wiggled all the connections, did it again, and again the power went off. Seems there's something wrong with the electrical system. It just seemed like insult on top of injury. I didn't know what the heck to do. I was so frustrated I was ready to either cry or punch a wall (I didn't do either). I did some yoga with a friend, read through a book with some good information, tried a few exercises. But by the time Dave got home I was feeling really, really down. We went out and worked on the bunkhouse, and that was good to get out and do stuff.
One of the things I'd decided about a month ago is that I wanted to get in super good shape. Not just race walking shape, but overall shape. So last night I went to a cross fit-style class. Holy cow! I had a blast! I had so much fun! It was a fundamentals class, so make sure people can do certain moves before they jump into the other classes. The owner (coach?) was positive, giving advice, correcting things he saw that needed improvement, giving encouragement. I realized I had missed that so much. To have someone there, while you're working out, telling you you're doing a good job just felt amazing. I was working harder, trying harder, pushing more. And I made a friend :) I don't have a lot of friends in my town. It's a small town and I spend most of my time training, don't go to bars, so it's hard to meet new people.
I came home all excited and bubbly. Dave hadn't seen me that way in quite a while. Another reason the workout made me happy was that running didn't hurt. While I'm not a doctor, and not making a diagnosis, I would think that if the pain in my leg was a stress fracture then running would've hurt it, but running and jumping doesn't hurt. So that made me feel good.
We'll see what tomorrow brings. I took care of myself as much as I could today. I'll do a little more stretching tonight and give it a go again tomorrow. But I also need to keep things in perspective; I'm healthy, I have a fantastic husband, I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge, I have wonderful fuzzy cats, my chickens crack me up, I have super supportive friends and family, we're making great progress on our people barn, and I'm still here kicking and fighting. Perspective is important! I realized that yesterday too when I went to the class. I was feeling out of shape but I was stronger than almost all the other people in the class. I have to remember sometimes I judge myself by different standards.
So chin up! Things will get better! I was given some great advice and will run it around in my head and get things figured out very soon!
Friday, August 28, 2015
Thursday, August 27, 2015
The setting of goals
While on the Isle of Man, Dave and I had a wonderful seafood meal in Port Erin (great name!) and got into a conversation about how does one set their goals. It was a good conversation (as most tend to be with my wonderful hubby) that brought up a lot of interesting points. I was talking about how I was feeling at a loss for what my goals should be and he was feeling like he tends to always set his goals too high and he hasn't met many of his goals for a long time.
So how does one set their goals? There's the first, to me most obvious answer, which is if you want to make a team you have to hit a time standard. USATF/the RW Executive Committee sets standards for what times you have to hit in order to earn that Team USA uniform and go overseas to compete. Then of course you have to hit a certain place in a trials race, but even if you hit that place without the time you can't go. So you have a time goal.
But that is only for a select few of the myriads of people out there competing. And you have athletes who are not yet quite at the level of making a national team, or juniors/youth who may not yet be eligible to make a national team. How do they set their goals?
Some people set a goal of winning an event. I'm not a fan of that as it's something you have no control over. You cant' control who your competition will be and what they're capable of. You can still try to win, and compete like crazy, but if I want to win a 50K and Yohann Diniz shows up, well, I'm going to be out of luck no matter how hard I try. So place goals are never goals I set for myself or my athletes (except like stated above if needed to make a team.).
Something else happens when making a goal. One thing Dave kept saying during our conversation was, "well, I think about what I should be able to do." As in, I should be able to do a 4:45 50K or a 1:36 20K. But who decides what someone "should" be able to do? How did Dave decide that he "should" be able to do a 4:45 50K or a 1:36 20K? He said based off what he's done in training you can extrapolate out for different distances.
There's validity in that. Andi Drake has published data of many of the top men in the world who have done 50Ks and 20Ks. And if you follow the general curve then if you have done XX for a 50K then you can do XXX for a 20K. There's also tons of pace charts out there for runners that show if you run a certain time for a 3K then you can extrapolate all the way up to a marathon. So if I run this for a 3K then I "should" be able to do this for a half marathon.
Is that how we should set our goals? By what we "should" be able to do? I wonder if that's what Yohann Diniz thought before he broke the world record in the 20K. Or the 50K. Did he think, "This is what I should be able to do." Or did he think this is what I know I can do? Is there a difference between those two ways of thinking? I wonder how many of the people who have made it their goal to make a national team "shouldn't" have been able to do it based on other workouts/races/times they've done, but did it because that's what they needed to do.
Now we come down to the big question... To make the big team next year, the Olympic Games, you have to make a time standard. That time standard is a sub 1:35 for 20K. Less than 10 American women have ever done that (two of them are still actively racing, they being, of course, Maria and Miranda). Not an easy feat. Of course if it was easy then it wouldn't be the Olympic Games, but the time standard has been lowered I believe three minutes since 2012, a significant amount. Is that what I set my goal at? Some people's response is an automatic, "Yes! Go for it! What do you have to lose?"
What do I have to lose? If I go off my philosophy of success is doing your best and trying your hardest, then time isn't the goal. Hopefully doing my best will equal a sub 1:35, but many would say history has shown that I'm not that fast of an athlete. And people will be quick to point out that I'm not getting any younger. There's the frustration of trying your everything to achieve something and not doing it. That is hard. That is frustrating. That can be devastating. Then again, I could go for it and surprise a ton of people and actually do it. And wouldn't that be amazing! Am I willing to commit the time, energy, money, resources necessary to try and get to that level. It seems daunting, it seems almost impossible. I had just wrapped my head around having to do a sub 1:36 when they came out with the new standard of 1:35. At the time it was shattering. I felt like just giving up right then and there. Now instead of taking off 5 minutes I had to take off 6! I've taken that much off at one point before, but man, that's a lot!
The verdict is still out. I still haven't come to terms with what my goals should be. It's hard to think about 1:35 when you can't go out and walk at all. Today will be telling, going out and seeing how the leg feels. I have certain races to use as markers to see how things are progressing. But I keep asking myself, what "should" I be able to do?
So how does one set their goals? There's the first, to me most obvious answer, which is if you want to make a team you have to hit a time standard. USATF/the RW Executive Committee sets standards for what times you have to hit in order to earn that Team USA uniform and go overseas to compete. Then of course you have to hit a certain place in a trials race, but even if you hit that place without the time you can't go. So you have a time goal.
But that is only for a select few of the myriads of people out there competing. And you have athletes who are not yet quite at the level of making a national team, or juniors/youth who may not yet be eligible to make a national team. How do they set their goals?
Some people set a goal of winning an event. I'm not a fan of that as it's something you have no control over. You cant' control who your competition will be and what they're capable of. You can still try to win, and compete like crazy, but if I want to win a 50K and Yohann Diniz shows up, well, I'm going to be out of luck no matter how hard I try. So place goals are never goals I set for myself or my athletes (except like stated above if needed to make a team.).
Something else happens when making a goal. One thing Dave kept saying during our conversation was, "well, I think about what I should be able to do." As in, I should be able to do a 4:45 50K or a 1:36 20K. But who decides what someone "should" be able to do? How did Dave decide that he "should" be able to do a 4:45 50K or a 1:36 20K? He said based off what he's done in training you can extrapolate out for different distances.
There's validity in that. Andi Drake has published data of many of the top men in the world who have done 50Ks and 20Ks. And if you follow the general curve then if you have done XX for a 50K then you can do XXX for a 20K. There's also tons of pace charts out there for runners that show if you run a certain time for a 3K then you can extrapolate all the way up to a marathon. So if I run this for a 3K then I "should" be able to do this for a half marathon.
Is that how we should set our goals? By what we "should" be able to do? I wonder if that's what Yohann Diniz thought before he broke the world record in the 20K. Or the 50K. Did he think, "This is what I should be able to do." Or did he think this is what I know I can do? Is there a difference between those two ways of thinking? I wonder how many of the people who have made it their goal to make a national team "shouldn't" have been able to do it based on other workouts/races/times they've done, but did it because that's what they needed to do.
Now we come down to the big question... To make the big team next year, the Olympic Games, you have to make a time standard. That time standard is a sub 1:35 for 20K. Less than 10 American women have ever done that (two of them are still actively racing, they being, of course, Maria and Miranda). Not an easy feat. Of course if it was easy then it wouldn't be the Olympic Games, but the time standard has been lowered I believe three minutes since 2012, a significant amount. Is that what I set my goal at? Some people's response is an automatic, "Yes! Go for it! What do you have to lose?"
What do I have to lose? If I go off my philosophy of success is doing your best and trying your hardest, then time isn't the goal. Hopefully doing my best will equal a sub 1:35, but many would say history has shown that I'm not that fast of an athlete. And people will be quick to point out that I'm not getting any younger. There's the frustration of trying your everything to achieve something and not doing it. That is hard. That is frustrating. That can be devastating. Then again, I could go for it and surprise a ton of people and actually do it. And wouldn't that be amazing! Am I willing to commit the time, energy, money, resources necessary to try and get to that level. It seems daunting, it seems almost impossible. I had just wrapped my head around having to do a sub 1:36 when they came out with the new standard of 1:35. At the time it was shattering. I felt like just giving up right then and there. Now instead of taking off 5 minutes I had to take off 6! I've taken that much off at one point before, but man, that's a lot!
The verdict is still out. I still haven't come to terms with what my goals should be. It's hard to think about 1:35 when you can't go out and walk at all. Today will be telling, going out and seeing how the leg feels. I have certain races to use as markers to see how things are progressing. But I keep asking myself, what "should" I be able to do?
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Looking back
It's now been 9 days since the 100 miler on the Isle of Man. I've made it home, gotten settled back into the routine of things, and had a chance to look back at how the trip went. There's a lot of bitter/sweet about the trip, but I came away learning a lot and having a lot to be proud of. And a lot of confusion about what the future holds.
One thing I'm quite proud of was training for both a 5,000 and a 100 mile race. I thought that would be quite hard to do, but I think we probably couldn't have done too much better with how we prepared. While I'm capable of going faster for a 5,000 and a 10K, with the hot conditions and everything else, I'm quite pleased with how we both did. And while we didn't finish the 100milers, it wasn't for lack of training and with how the first part of the race went we were on track to finish.
As our aid station helper James pointed out, there was a lot we did right during the 100 miler. We were super consistent at the beginning of the race. he said he was literally setting his watch for how long it was taking us to do the loop. We found our pace and we were sticking to it, even though I was holding myself back a lot (that's the drawback of being a race walker...). Our eating was spot on. We never had stomach issues and I never felt hungry, so all the food practicing was really helpful and seemed to work. While I did stop, I never gave up. Even when I did some miles close to 25 minutes, I was still thinking if I could just get my legs to loosen up I could still pick it up and make it. In hindsight I probably did about 4 miles too far. Yesterday was the first day post race that I didn't feel pain every step I took or pain when standing. We're finally getting some of the muscles in my leg to relax and that's helping a lot. I'm thinking of going for a short, easy RW today to see how that feels. Fingers crossed!
But now I am left feeling a little adrift. I'm not exactly sure where to go from here. I wanted to focus on some endurance events for a while, but now I'm not so sure. I'd love to focus on 20K, since it's coming up to an Olympic year, but I've had some frustration with 20K lately. So more thought will have to go into what is coming up next. I've got the 40K September 13th, and then the four day race in China at the end of the month, so I need to get going for those. But after that, who knows?
One thing I'm quite proud of was training for both a 5,000 and a 100 mile race. I thought that would be quite hard to do, but I think we probably couldn't have done too much better with how we prepared. While I'm capable of going faster for a 5,000 and a 10K, with the hot conditions and everything else, I'm quite pleased with how we both did. And while we didn't finish the 100milers, it wasn't for lack of training and with how the first part of the race went we were on track to finish.
As our aid station helper James pointed out, there was a lot we did right during the 100 miler. We were super consistent at the beginning of the race. he said he was literally setting his watch for how long it was taking us to do the loop. We found our pace and we were sticking to it, even though I was holding myself back a lot (that's the drawback of being a race walker...). Our eating was spot on. We never had stomach issues and I never felt hungry, so all the food practicing was really helpful and seemed to work. While I did stop, I never gave up. Even when I did some miles close to 25 minutes, I was still thinking if I could just get my legs to loosen up I could still pick it up and make it. In hindsight I probably did about 4 miles too far. Yesterday was the first day post race that I didn't feel pain every step I took or pain when standing. We're finally getting some of the muscles in my leg to relax and that's helping a lot. I'm thinking of going for a short, easy RW today to see how that feels. Fingers crossed!
But now I am left feeling a little adrift. I'm not exactly sure where to go from here. I wanted to focus on some endurance events for a while, but now I'm not so sure. I'd love to focus on 20K, since it's coming up to an Olympic year, but I've had some frustration with 20K lately. So more thought will have to go into what is coming up next. I've got the 40K September 13th, and then the four day race in China at the end of the month, so I need to get going for those. But after that, who knows?
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Wherein I can walk 46 miles, but I cannot walk 54 more....
It is six hours since I went to the race organizers and told them that I would not be able to meet the half way cutoff point. I had done 23 laps (46 miles) in 10:40. I had 80 minutes to complete 4 miles to make the cutoff. My 46th mile had taken me approximately 30 minutes and the mile before that about 25. I had done everything I could think of; put on compression socks, took a second dose of aspirin, sat for about 8 minutes "petting" my leg to try and get the swelling out, ice, change of shoes. None of these things worked. I know this time that my shoes were not tied too tight. I also know and feel confident in saying that I did not go out too fast.
In 2013 when we came to the Isle of Man we had hardly trained at all. I was coming off my discus-to-the-knee injury and hadn't gotten hardly any miles in. I went 76 miles at that race. This year I trained for the event; I did 7 workouts of a marathon distance or longer, I practiced my eating, I practiced my "fast walk" technique. So the thought going through my head as I was forced by my body to stop was: If I'm this well prepared, what is going on?
While I haven't had a chance to yet explore all possibilities, I was exploring most of them between mile 40 and mile 46. First, the problem is I can't raise my left foot. Sort of the same thing that happened in 2013 to my right leg, but coming from a different spot. Here's how the race unfolded for me.
The course this year, instead of being a half mile loop around the athletic center, was a 2 mile loop in the town of Castletown. Castletown is having a rejuvenation and wanted to have a big event, so they decided to do the 100 miles here. It is a lovely town with a castle (shock, I know, right?) quaint shops, old-time winding cobble stone roads, and lots of friendly people. The course started by the civic center, went out, wound through some local streets, out onto one of the mail roads, took a dog leg into a school, back on a main road, back into the village, down a pedestrian alley, back on local streets, back to the civic center where you went over the mats and tear dropped back around. The path leading from the civic center to the first local street was about 8-10 feet wide, a small fit for 100 people to fit through. Dave and I decided to start at the back of the pack, we thought that would help us get off to a controlled start. It did, we started off really nice. We found the local streets were mostly cobble, with many variations in elevation. There were spots where we had to go up on curbs and if you wanted to walk the tangents you'd have to come off the curb. In one spot they put a ramp to come off the curb, but it was only wide enough for one person, and at a 90 degree angle. The turn around in the school was about 120 degrees with some loose gravel. I found if I hiked there I could make the turn okay, but if I tried to RW I had to swing quite wide. Getting into/out of the alley was also a one person at a time affair and those turns were hard 90 degrees. There were many inconsistencies in pavement elevation, the first few laps I saw many people learning where some were as people scuffed their feet, stumbled, and almost fell. Dave almost went down in the same spot on laps one and three. I started warning him the spot was coming, then he ingrained in in his memory.
I would say this was the most challenging course I have ever been on. I tend to train on the roads of Owego. There are spots where the pavement is a little rough, but really our roads are pretty good. Marvin Park is really nice, the track is smooth. I almost never walk around 90 degree corners, especially not 12 per two miles.
Dave and I walked together for much of the race. We were hitting around 12 minute miles for a bit, then moved up to about 11:45. I felt good, was having to hold myself back. I picked it up a bit more at one point, I think doing a lap in 11:04 or so, but was feeling great. I would switch my technique around slightly to use different muscle groups, a strategy that had worked great for me in training. I was eating once or twice a lap. Mentally I was feeling awesome. But I noticed I felt a bit sore decently early. I decided to just not think about it.
Around 15 laps in I started to get a massive hot spot in my right calf and an annoying niggle in my left shin. I also felt the beginnings of a blister on the bottom of my left foot. I stopped, took my sock off, and put some oily stuff hoping that would help. After a few more laps the two hot spots were starting to really be hard to ignore. I decided to stop at the massage area and see if they could work some of it out. I stopped for about 6 minutes. The massage therapist was great, but it didn't help a lot. After another ten miles my calf did loosen up, which was awesome, but by that point the pain in my left shin was hitting about 8/10. I hobbled around a lap, looking at my pace and how much time I had left. I could still do it. It wouldn't be fun, but it could be done. At one point I got myself geared up and said, okay, time to start really RWing again. I was able to latch on to two really nice ladies and for about a mile I did pick it up, but that's all I could manage. The pain in my leg was just overwhelming. I kept going though, knowing that it was still possible. At 22 laps finished I had a feeling all was done. I was starting to limp pretty severely, and my left leg was just along for the ride. I decided I'd get around and tell our aid person that I was stopping. He was great, very supportive, tried to get me to keep going, helped me rest and see if I could get charged up again, but after sitting for six minutes, when I stood back up I almost couldn't stand. I told him I would hobble to the finish, just to make sure, and he would meet me there with our stuff.
As I walked about 30 minute mile pace to the finish, feeling the pain in my leg, I wasn't even sure what to feel. I'm still not sure what I feel. I'm so frustrated. I know I can do this, but this is now two attempts and two times I didn't complete 100 miles. I found one of the race directors and said thanks and spent some time with the physio. As I was talking to her I was expressing my frustration and just wanting to figure out/understand why this happened. She thinks it is a legitimate thought that the course did it to me. My inexperience in walking on different aspects of the course could've been enough to throw my body off. Now obviously the course didn't affect everyone, there are still so many amazing people out there powering their way through. As I look at the live updates I see many of them are veterans of centurion walks, and/or people from the Isle of Man. One event they have here is the Parish walk, which is 85 miles and takes them all around/over the island. It's a huge event that draws 1500 people each year. It goes everywhere, on gravel roads, you name it. So people around here have a rich history/culture of walking and walking on many different surfaces. I don't want to feel like I'm making excuses, but I just can't figure out why I can be so much better trained and not even make it to half way.
The though did cross my mind, silly as it is, that maybe my body just wanted me to save my first centurion number for the US list and I will have success at our race next fall. Seems silly to think though.
So it hurts, now everything hurts. My calves are tight/sore (stretching did not happen when I was done) my left shin just throbs. The blisters on the bottom of my feet hurt, and I spent so much time trying to be careful where I stepped, especially at the end, that I tensed up my shoulders like crazy and it hurts to lift my left arm above my head. I can think of few times where I hurt as much as I hurt now.
Once a day or two has passed I will have to sit down and seriously take a look at my goals and what I think I can achieve/accomplish. Goals have been on my mind a lot, why we set the goals we set, how we set goals, how to choose goals. I'm in a really big grey area with my goals right now and it will take some serious soul searching to figure out for sure what's next.
I gave it my all. I probably should've stopped a lap or two before I did. I hope I recover decently quickly. I really hope I can sleep...
P.S. - I want to be totally clear, I am not blaming the course. There were 48 people who finished the 100 miles and 32 people who finished the 100 miles for the first time and earned their centurion number. I guess I'm blaming my preparation, which is upsetting since I tried so hard to prepare well. it's the fine line between an excuse and a reason...
In 2013 when we came to the Isle of Man we had hardly trained at all. I was coming off my discus-to-the-knee injury and hadn't gotten hardly any miles in. I went 76 miles at that race. This year I trained for the event; I did 7 workouts of a marathon distance or longer, I practiced my eating, I practiced my "fast walk" technique. So the thought going through my head as I was forced by my body to stop was: If I'm this well prepared, what is going on?
While I haven't had a chance to yet explore all possibilities, I was exploring most of them between mile 40 and mile 46. First, the problem is I can't raise my left foot. Sort of the same thing that happened in 2013 to my right leg, but coming from a different spot. Here's how the race unfolded for me.
The course this year, instead of being a half mile loop around the athletic center, was a 2 mile loop in the town of Castletown. Castletown is having a rejuvenation and wanted to have a big event, so they decided to do the 100 miles here. It is a lovely town with a castle (shock, I know, right?) quaint shops, old-time winding cobble stone roads, and lots of friendly people. The course started by the civic center, went out, wound through some local streets, out onto one of the mail roads, took a dog leg into a school, back on a main road, back into the village, down a pedestrian alley, back on local streets, back to the civic center where you went over the mats and tear dropped back around. The path leading from the civic center to the first local street was about 8-10 feet wide, a small fit for 100 people to fit through. Dave and I decided to start at the back of the pack, we thought that would help us get off to a controlled start. It did, we started off really nice. We found the local streets were mostly cobble, with many variations in elevation. There were spots where we had to go up on curbs and if you wanted to walk the tangents you'd have to come off the curb. In one spot they put a ramp to come off the curb, but it was only wide enough for one person, and at a 90 degree angle. The turn around in the school was about 120 degrees with some loose gravel. I found if I hiked there I could make the turn okay, but if I tried to RW I had to swing quite wide. Getting into/out of the alley was also a one person at a time affair and those turns were hard 90 degrees. There were many inconsistencies in pavement elevation, the first few laps I saw many people learning where some were as people scuffed their feet, stumbled, and almost fell. Dave almost went down in the same spot on laps one and three. I started warning him the spot was coming, then he ingrained in in his memory.
I would say this was the most challenging course I have ever been on. I tend to train on the roads of Owego. There are spots where the pavement is a little rough, but really our roads are pretty good. Marvin Park is really nice, the track is smooth. I almost never walk around 90 degree corners, especially not 12 per two miles.
Dave and I walked together for much of the race. We were hitting around 12 minute miles for a bit, then moved up to about 11:45. I felt good, was having to hold myself back. I picked it up a bit more at one point, I think doing a lap in 11:04 or so, but was feeling great. I would switch my technique around slightly to use different muscle groups, a strategy that had worked great for me in training. I was eating once or twice a lap. Mentally I was feeling awesome. But I noticed I felt a bit sore decently early. I decided to just not think about it.
Around 15 laps in I started to get a massive hot spot in my right calf and an annoying niggle in my left shin. I also felt the beginnings of a blister on the bottom of my left foot. I stopped, took my sock off, and put some oily stuff hoping that would help. After a few more laps the two hot spots were starting to really be hard to ignore. I decided to stop at the massage area and see if they could work some of it out. I stopped for about 6 minutes. The massage therapist was great, but it didn't help a lot. After another ten miles my calf did loosen up, which was awesome, but by that point the pain in my left shin was hitting about 8/10. I hobbled around a lap, looking at my pace and how much time I had left. I could still do it. It wouldn't be fun, but it could be done. At one point I got myself geared up and said, okay, time to start really RWing again. I was able to latch on to two really nice ladies and for about a mile I did pick it up, but that's all I could manage. The pain in my leg was just overwhelming. I kept going though, knowing that it was still possible. At 22 laps finished I had a feeling all was done. I was starting to limp pretty severely, and my left leg was just along for the ride. I decided I'd get around and tell our aid person that I was stopping. He was great, very supportive, tried to get me to keep going, helped me rest and see if I could get charged up again, but after sitting for six minutes, when I stood back up I almost couldn't stand. I told him I would hobble to the finish, just to make sure, and he would meet me there with our stuff.
As I walked about 30 minute mile pace to the finish, feeling the pain in my leg, I wasn't even sure what to feel. I'm still not sure what I feel. I'm so frustrated. I know I can do this, but this is now two attempts and two times I didn't complete 100 miles. I found one of the race directors and said thanks and spent some time with the physio. As I was talking to her I was expressing my frustration and just wanting to figure out/understand why this happened. She thinks it is a legitimate thought that the course did it to me. My inexperience in walking on different aspects of the course could've been enough to throw my body off. Now obviously the course didn't affect everyone, there are still so many amazing people out there powering their way through. As I look at the live updates I see many of them are veterans of centurion walks, and/or people from the Isle of Man. One event they have here is the Parish walk, which is 85 miles and takes them all around/over the island. It's a huge event that draws 1500 people each year. It goes everywhere, on gravel roads, you name it. So people around here have a rich history/culture of walking and walking on many different surfaces. I don't want to feel like I'm making excuses, but I just can't figure out why I can be so much better trained and not even make it to half way.
The though did cross my mind, silly as it is, that maybe my body just wanted me to save my first centurion number for the US list and I will have success at our race next fall. Seems silly to think though.
So it hurts, now everything hurts. My calves are tight/sore (stretching did not happen when I was done) my left shin just throbs. The blisters on the bottom of my feet hurt, and I spent so much time trying to be careful where I stepped, especially at the end, that I tensed up my shoulders like crazy and it hurts to lift my left arm above my head. I can think of few times where I hurt as much as I hurt now.
Once a day or two has passed I will have to sit down and seriously take a look at my goals and what I think I can achieve/accomplish. Goals have been on my mind a lot, why we set the goals we set, how we set goals, how to choose goals. I'm in a really big grey area with my goals right now and it will take some serious soul searching to figure out for sure what's next.
I gave it my all. I probably should've stopped a lap or two before I did. I hope I recover decently quickly. I really hope I can sleep...
P.S. - I want to be totally clear, I am not blaming the course. There were 48 people who finished the 100 miles and 32 people who finished the 100 miles for the first time and earned their centurion number. I guess I'm blaming my preparation, which is upsetting since I tried so hard to prepare well. it's the fine line between an excuse and a reason...
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
World Masters in Lyon - my races
What a week! Two races in three days with a super low and a super high. First race was the 5,000. My race was at 2:50 and the forecast was for a high of 100. The heat coming off the track made it even hotter. I didn't take a huge warm up, nobody did really. I felt confident in my ability to handle the heat, after the two weeks of working on the bunkhouse in the heat. I watched a lot of races and saw that a lot of people were dying about 2-3K in, so I knew I was going to take it out easier than I might otherwise do so I could try and stay strong throughout the race. We were lined up on the track about 10 minutes before we started and you could feel the heat. My warm ups felt good and I was ready to go.
The gun went off and I started comfortably. I was in fourth or fifth or something. Started right off about 5 per K. But after a bit I started to get some lifting paddles. I wasn't sure why, just tried to focus on technique. Kept strong in fourth place and saw that third was starting to come back to me. With a K to go I was ready to charge after third when I got the dreaded red paddle. I was pretty disappointed, but sometimes that's the way it goes. It seems no matter how hard I work/how much I work on technique, there's just something about the way I look that makes judges take an extra glance at me. I know, I know, pictures don't tell the whole picture (haha, get it...) but all the photos of me during that race show me solidly on the ground.
So I had two options, I could sit there and feel sorry for myself or I could try to figure out what the judges thought they were seeing and see if I could fix it. I talked with Dave and we figured that I was probably bringing my knees up a bit high and looked more "prancing pony" than I could've. At a masters championship there aren't a ton of super-duper fast people, so anyone who is "fast" with a difference in technique could be easy prey.
the day after my DQ we took a day trip to Paris, so that was a great way to get my mind off things. Then Dave's race was Sunday. I did some warm up, some mental technique practice and had Dave watch me walk. He said I looked great, low to the ground, knees low and straight. So I figured I'd done all I could for the next race. Dave also commented, "Boy, it's good you can change your technique so easily." I figure this is also a curse as once I get my technique sorted it's not so hard to get back to other techniques.
Monday came and I got excited watching the upper age groups race. So many women out there trying their hardest and being competitive. I commented to Dave that in the men's races you could see a fair number of men just out for a stroll. I didn't see that in the women's races. You could see them really pushing and trying and competing! It was great to see!
I had the same game plan for the 10K, start off comfortable, see how the judging was going, and then push. I was going to try to do every lap faster. My race was women 35-49, so there were some awesome competitors in there. Gun went off and I was third in my age group, however, the girl that came in second in the 5,000 who raced super smart was behind me and I knew she could really push and would race smart.
About the second lap or so I got a knee paddle (much more like me) that turned into a red card, but no other judges seemed to be looking at me. I was doing what I wanted and pushing each lap. I felt fantastic! I felt strong, I was picking people off like crazy. Dave told me to go after one of the German ladies and he was with someone who said, oh, that's a tough one, she's a ways ahead. I had her once I had come back from turning the corner!
With one lap to go I was just flying along, feeling great! Then bam, two lifting paddles right in a row. I had a bit of a freak out so I backed way off. I saw where fourth was, had maybe 30 seconds on her, but I knew that may not be enough. As I turned the last corner, maybe 500 to go, she was closer but I thought still far enough. As I came to the finish area, about 50 meters to go, there she was! Right on my shoulder. What a tough woman! Wow! The race before we had seen the chief judge red paddle someone on the final stretch, so I knew if I went for it and lifted I'd be out. So I had to make a very fast decision: do I stay safe and settle for fourth or go for it and maybe get DQed? I decided to go for it. So I took off and tried to keep my knees as low as possible and my feet as low as possible. I got her by a second! Then I headed over to the DQ board to make sure I made it through, lol. And I did! I'm so happy to know that I can sprint and kick! I don't generally think of myself as kicker, and am happy that I can do that off 100 mile training!
So I walked away with the bronze! Not too bad for the training that I've done. I felt like I could've kept that pace up for 30-40K, so that bodes well for my 50K in November.
Now I'll put my 100 mile hat on and see what damage I can do to that Centurion walk on Saturday!
The gun went off and I started comfortably. I was in fourth or fifth or something. Started right off about 5 per K. But after a bit I started to get some lifting paddles. I wasn't sure why, just tried to focus on technique. Kept strong in fourth place and saw that third was starting to come back to me. With a K to go I was ready to charge after third when I got the dreaded red paddle. I was pretty disappointed, but sometimes that's the way it goes. It seems no matter how hard I work/how much I work on technique, there's just something about the way I look that makes judges take an extra glance at me. I know, I know, pictures don't tell the whole picture (haha, get it...) but all the photos of me during that race show me solidly on the ground.
So I had two options, I could sit there and feel sorry for myself or I could try to figure out what the judges thought they were seeing and see if I could fix it. I talked with Dave and we figured that I was probably bringing my knees up a bit high and looked more "prancing pony" than I could've. At a masters championship there aren't a ton of super-duper fast people, so anyone who is "fast" with a difference in technique could be easy prey.
the day after my DQ we took a day trip to Paris, so that was a great way to get my mind off things. Then Dave's race was Sunday. I did some warm up, some mental technique practice and had Dave watch me walk. He said I looked great, low to the ground, knees low and straight. So I figured I'd done all I could for the next race. Dave also commented, "Boy, it's good you can change your technique so easily." I figure this is also a curse as once I get my technique sorted it's not so hard to get back to other techniques.
Monday came and I got excited watching the upper age groups race. So many women out there trying their hardest and being competitive. I commented to Dave that in the men's races you could see a fair number of men just out for a stroll. I didn't see that in the women's races. You could see them really pushing and trying and competing! It was great to see!
I had the same game plan for the 10K, start off comfortable, see how the judging was going, and then push. I was going to try to do every lap faster. My race was women 35-49, so there were some awesome competitors in there. Gun went off and I was third in my age group, however, the girl that came in second in the 5,000 who raced super smart was behind me and I knew she could really push and would race smart.
About the second lap or so I got a knee paddle (much more like me) that turned into a red card, but no other judges seemed to be looking at me. I was doing what I wanted and pushing each lap. I felt fantastic! I felt strong, I was picking people off like crazy. Dave told me to go after one of the German ladies and he was with someone who said, oh, that's a tough one, she's a ways ahead. I had her once I had come back from turning the corner!
With one lap to go I was just flying along, feeling great! Then bam, two lifting paddles right in a row. I had a bit of a freak out so I backed way off. I saw where fourth was, had maybe 30 seconds on her, but I knew that may not be enough. As I turned the last corner, maybe 500 to go, she was closer but I thought still far enough. As I came to the finish area, about 50 meters to go, there she was! Right on my shoulder. What a tough woman! Wow! The race before we had seen the chief judge red paddle someone on the final stretch, so I knew if I went for it and lifted I'd be out. So I had to make a very fast decision: do I stay safe and settle for fourth or go for it and maybe get DQed? I decided to go for it. So I took off and tried to keep my knees as low as possible and my feet as low as possible. I got her by a second! Then I headed over to the DQ board to make sure I made it through, lol. And I did! I'm so happy to know that I can sprint and kick! I don't generally think of myself as kicker, and am happy that I can do that off 100 mile training!
So I walked away with the bronze! Not too bad for the training that I've done. I felt like I could've kept that pace up for 30-40K, so that bodes well for my 50K in November.
Now I'll put my 100 mile hat on and see what damage I can do to that Centurion walk on Saturday!
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