"Pretend I'm an alien..."

One of the coolest things about this past weekend in Oregon was that since the temperatures were so high meet management moved the 5,000 runs from the end of the day Sunday to the morning.  That meant that after racing my race Sunday morning I would get to go in Hayward Field and watch, in person, all the runners I see and root for on TV.  All the big names.  How exciting!   Dave and I sat in the bleachers on the side of the track where they started.  We were basically right across from them as they lined up.  So we got to witness what they looked like right before go time.   It was really interesting to see the looks on people's faces in the minutes before the gun went off.  There was the usual dynamic stretching, double checking of shoe laces, moving around of necklaces, and a few Hail Mary's.  For the men's race Bernard Legat looked cool as a cucumber.  Lopez Lemong looked like he was ready to have fun.  But Dave pointed out Galen Rupp.  Not that either of us know him very well, but he looked nervous. 

This picture doesn't perfectly capture it, but even as he was standing on the line, he just looked to me unsettled and anxious. 

So what?  What does it matter if you're nervous?  You've been training for months or years to get to this point.  There's teams on the line, prize money, keeping sponsors happy, there's lots of reasons to be nervous...

When I was in college and then also after I graduated and was living/gigging in NYC I had a lot of private music students.  We would work for months on a piece that would then be performed.  All that hard work would come down to five minutes of playing.  As the performance drew nearer you could see the students get more and more nervous.   So I would play a game with them.  I would say to them, "Pretend I'm an alien..."  and at this point many of the littler kids would laugh or chuckle, and the older kids would say something smart like "That's not hard to imagine, Erin."  I would say, "pretend I'm an alien visiting Earth for the first time.  On my alien planet we have no emotions.  But I realize that on Earth people have emotions, so I need to learn about them.  Let's start with two emotions, nervousness and excitement."  I would then take them through an exercise where I would have my students tell me the physical manifestations of both those emotions.  I would ask them what things physically happen to your body when you get nervous.  I would get answers like; sweating, butterflies in the stomach, feeling like you want to throw up, loosening of the bowels.  (The kids never phrased it quite that delicately) 

Then I would ask what the physical manifestation of being really, really excited.  Like five-year-old on Christmas morning excited.  I would get answers such as; jittery, sweaty palms, so excited your stomach starts dancing, needing to pee.   

Next came the question:  So in a physical sense, what's the difference between being nervous and being excited?  The answer is:  not much.  Physically the body seems to handle nervousness and excitement pretty much the same.  That means the difference is all in your mind.  And the great thing about that is you can choose what your mind thinks!  You can say to yourself before the race or before the concert or before the speech at school or before the interview at work, "Oh, man, I'm so nervous, what if I mess up?"  Or you can say to yourself, "Oh, man, I am so excited!  I have worked so hard for this!  I have prepared to the best of my abilities, I've worked hard, and I am ready!"  Which mindset do you think has the better chance of success? 

Now obviously I don't know what was going on in Galen Rupp's mind before the race.  He could've been totally calm and cool and collected.  But I do know that as a competitor, if I was down there on that starting line ready to race and I saw him looking like that it would've given me a surge of adrenaline.  I would've been saying to myself, "Wow, look at him, look at how nervous he looks.  I'm not nervous, I'm ready.  Today could be the day I do something great!" 

Always give yourself every opportunity to succeed.  Don't hold yourself back.  Who knows, today could be the day you do something amazing.  And if your mind is telling you yes, yes, yes, then you've got a way better chance of doing it than if your mind is telling you no, no, no.  

So here's a homework assignment for all you who read my blog (I can't help it, it's the teacher in me...).  I'll link to the quotes page from the final day of the USATF championships.  Read through them and see who has what kind of mindset.  Who has an example of a mindset you'd want?  Who's mindset would you not want?   Who's definition of success is one you would agree with? 

http://www.usatf.org/News/Sunday-quotes-from-the-USATF-Outdoor-Championships.aspx

Happy training everyone!

Practice what you preach?

The day is done, the race is over.  Now the question is, can I look myself in the mirror and say that today was a success?  I can honestly say yes.  I'm sure there are others who would say no, because if you look at my time it was nowhere near my best.  But as I said in my last post, my time does not equal my success.  I can honestly say I pushed my hardest and gave it my best.  That for me = success!  I feel like I can hold my head high and I am super excited about upcoming races. 

Am I satisfied with my race?  No.  Having the day be a success doesn't have to mean that I'm not hungry for more.  My time was well below what I know I'm capable of.  My workout the day before was great, a nice warm up with some pickups.  Everything felt smooth and comfortable and Dave said my technique looked great.   However Sunday morning was a whole different kettle of fish.  Starting about 6K I was getting a pain in my hip.  Tried to ignore it, but it was very insistent.  So about 9K or so I pulled up and laid on the ground and did some intense upward dogs to try and loosen stuff.  It worked a little, but not a ton.  So I just kept pushing.  A few times my hip wanted to lock up, but I just kept pushing.  People passed me, I just kept pushing.  I passed people, I just kept pushing.  I slowed down, I just kept pushing.   So was my time my best?  Heck no, but I didn't stop!  I think many people would've stopped with that much pain in their hip. 

Someone after the race commented that they didn't realize I was in that much pain.  I said of course, I'm not going to let my competition know of any weakness I may have.  The last thing I want is for someone to think, oh, she's fading, I can get her!  In that way sports can be like acting, what may be going on in your mind can't show up on your face, you have a part to play.  And today the part of a successful race walker was played by Erin Taylor-Talcott!   And I moved up a place this year to a 5th place finish.  Not too bad for a 50K walker!  Another thing I'm happy of, I had only one paddle during the race, and that was with about 3K to go.  By this point my hip was hurting to the point I barely wanted to put weight on it, so I'm really glad I was able to keep it together as great as I did.  In the past I think I would've been DQed, but I think all my hard work and core work and technique work and strength training has really paid off!

So now to focus on the next challenges.  In August we're heading to Lyon, France for the World Master's Championships.  Dave and I are racing a 5K and a 10K.  We're going to miss doing the 20K, arguably our strongest event there, so we can head to the Isle of Man for our second go at becoming a Centurion.  We learned so much from our first attempt and have done a lot of research and talking to people who have been successful at it and we are training harder and smarter.  And it's a blast! 

Have I reached my goals at 20K?  Not yet, but I will.  And I'll have fun doing it!

The definition of success

We leave today for Eugene for USATF Outdoor Nationals.  Sunday I'll race the 20K with all the best men and women in the US.  Ten women and six men will toe the line together hoping to reach their goals.  The main purpose of Outdoor Nats is to select the teams for the Pan Am Games and for the World Championships.  So for a number of competitors their definition of success will be whether or not they make the team.  Making the team = success.  Not making the team = failure.  With that mindset it is very black and white; you succeed or you fail.  But I think there's much more to success than that.

So what is success?  The dictionary defines success as:  the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.  Thus to be successful you must accomplish what you set out to do.  And that makes sense with the above paragraph.  If I set out to make the team and I make the team I have achieved success!  But many athletes seem to fall into traps where they set aims or purposes based on numbers or places.  When those numbers or places are achieved they feel great!  This is fantastic!  I love sports!  But if for whatever reason they don't achieve those aims (oh, let's just call them goals...) then there's depression, feeling like a failure, why do I train if I can't reach my goals?  Maybe I should just give up. 

What if there was a way to always reach your goal?  Every single time?  Without fail?  Do you believe it's possible?  Can you imagine what it would be like if every time you went out there you knew with 100% certainty that you would come away successful?  I think it's possible.  Some of you may think this way of thinking, this mindset, is a cop-out, but hear me out and let me explain...

Say I'm ready for the race of my life.  I've trained better than I've ever trained before, I'm stronger, faster, fitter.  Everyone says I'm ready for a massive PB.   Now, here are the two scenarios:
1.  Race day comes and it's a beautiful day, perfect weather conditions!  The course is flat and smooth, there's competition right around me helping me push and go faster.  It's the ideal race under ideal conditions and I'm in the ideal shape.  I barely even have to push and I do a PB!  Success!  Right?  Did I try my best?  Did I give it my all?  2.  The weather is crazy hot, the high is 90 plus degrees, no shade.  The course has a nasty hill in it and the pavement is all broken up.  I do my absolute best, I push, I give it everything I had, but with the conditions being what they were I do not do a PB.

Which scenario would you want to happen?  Let's face it, we all want scenario 1 because it resulted in a massive PB.  And no one wants scenario 2, who wants a bad time?  But I would challenge you to say scenario 2 was the most successful.  In the first scenario I said "I barely even have to push."  Am I trying?  Am I giving it my all?  No.  I may have done a PB, but I didn't do my best.  In the second scenario I gave it my all, right to the end. 

You don't have control over conditions and you don't have control over your competition.  On your best day others may be better than you.  On your worst day you may be better than your competition.  Weather/course/judges, those are all out of your control.  The only thing you can control 100% of the time is yourself.  How you view the race, what you say in your head, how hard you push.  If you go into every race with the attitude of "I will do my best, I will give it my all, I will NOT give up,"  then you can be successful 100% of the time.  Because then if you don't get the PB or you don't make the team you can still stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye and know that you gave it everything you had.

So what are my goals for the race Sunday?  I'm going to give it my best.  I'm going to go out there, race smart, and leave it all on the course.  Who knows, maybe it'll be a PB day!  Maybe other things will get in the way and it won't be a PB day.  But what I do know, right now as I'm sitting here typing this getting ready to pack and travel out, is that I know for a fact I will be successful!  I will come away knowing I gave it my best and feeling excited and ready for the next challenges that await me.  If I PB, that's an extra, if I make a team that would be amazing! But I will be successful!

I wish everyone huge success!

China - Third time's a charm!

If you would've asked me 5 or 10 years ago if I would ever go to China my response probably would've been no.  Not that I never wanted to go, but it's so far, tickets are expensive, I don't speak the language, there's other places I'd like to see more, and so on.  Who would've guessed that this year I will be headed back for the third time in two years!  Hazzah frequent flyer miles!  Last year I made the US team for the World Cup of Race Walking in Taicang, China.  It was such an amazing experience.  I met so many fun and interesting people that I still talk to, have gone to Europe to stay with and they have come to the US to stay with us.  One thing is for sure, the world of race walking is full of amazing people.  Then later in the year I was invited to do a stage race in Taihu, China.  You'd go and race four races in four days, distances from 10K up to 16K.  Again, I met wonderful people and had a blast racing.  I definitely wasn't the fastest woman - there were some amazingly talented women there, but when I went through the results and looked at how much people had slowed down their pace from day one to day four, I found my pace actually got faster where most people's had gotten slower.  I thrive on distance!   

This year, having the experience of last year, I know a bit better how to prepare for the four days.  Race distances are basically the same but in a slightly different order.  I'll be coming off racing a bunch in Europe in August - World Master's in Lyon, France where I'll do the 5K and 10K and then we buzz over to the Isle of Man for our second Centurion attempt.  I'm also much, much smarter about training for that, and this time I'm not coming off a discus to the knee injury, so I'm feeling great about earning my first Centurion number (for those who don't know, to earn the title of Centurion you must walk 100 miles in 24 hours, not an easy task!).  

It's amazing how sport can bring us together, can transcend language and culture.  How a group who may otherwise have very little in common can put all differences aside for one purpose.  Music is also like that, in a way.  There are lots of ways I think music and sports are similar.  That'd probably make a good topic for another blog entry. 

For now I'll dream about all the fantastic races I have coming up, the friends I will see again and the friends I am soon to meet.  I will plan training to go out and push my body just to the limit and see how strong I can get.  And maybe I'll go get in a quick workout :)

Twitter!

I have finally joined the current century and am now on Twitter!  I'm RacewalkerErin@RacewalkErin   Please follow me and I'll follow you (once I figure out how to do that...)  I'll do my best to come up with witty and interesting things, or talk about training, farming, and music. 

It's the small things...

A lot of times it's the small things.  Dave and I are starting our training for our Centurion walk on the Isle of Man in August by doing some longer/slower walks.   And since these walks don't have to be at such a specific pace as they do when we racewalk, we've decided that we'll really enjoy them.  Upstate New York is a beautiful place, full of hills, valleys, streams, old farms, flowers, and wildlife.  The hills make it difficult to racewalk a lot of routes, so I tend to know most of the roads that are decently flat by heart.  So the Centurion walk practice is the perfect time for us to explore other back roads (translation = hills).  Sunday as we were walking along I thought we were going through a section with a number of crickets.  Dave bends down and picks up this cute little guy!  We stopped and stood there a minute and watched him and it was wonderful.  I left that area with a big smile on my face. 

People have often asked how long I'll racewalk.  My answer always is "as long as I'm still having fun.  Once I'm not having fun I'll find something else to do."   Over the years in my racewalking career I've had short periods of time where it hasn't been fun, but I love what I do!  I love training, working hard, pushing my body.  I love the people I meet and the places I get to go.  I love coaching and helping athletes push themselves and reach their goals.  And one thing I love about my sport is there's always a new goal to set, new challenges to face.  Some people think I'm too old to still be trying to compete competitively.  Hope no one has told Yohann Diniz that anytime lately!  (For those who don't know, he keeps breaking world records and he was born the same year as me.)  There are so many races to do, so many records to break!  Every day should be a wonderful chance to get out there and do what you love! 

My goal for today during my workout (I have intervals on the track.  Good old intervals on the track.  Something I've done a bazillion times in my life) is to find something fun and exciting.  I'm not sure what it could be, but today I will find a way to make boring old intervals a workout I can look back on and say, hey, that was cool. 

What will you find today that gets you motivated and excited?

Women's 50K...

People have asked me to talk about my trek through 50K land.  So I thought I'd start my first real blog going over my 50K history.   Ever since I can remember I was always described as "not too fast, but she can go forever..."  In high school I went to a cross country camp where I set the record for most miles run in a day.  I've always enjoyed long distances.  In 2010 I decided to give the 50K a shot.   I had done a 50K somewhere around 2007 and it was awful, over 6 hours, and I spent a fair amount of time sitting on the side of the course contemplating the meaning of life, the pain in my legs, and if I wanted to finish.  I did finish, but it hurt.  Just like childbirth (so I've heard) you tend to forget about it over time.  So in 2010 I wasn't thinking about that pain from before, I was thinking, I can do this!  I'd completed a couple 40Ks since then and hey, it's just 10 more K!  That race went well, I did a PB by over one hour, breaking the 5 hour mark. 

Doing that race got me thinking, if I trained more for it, I believed I could do a 50K under 4:45.  That time is significant because it is the qualifying time for the 50K Olympic Trials.  I thought if I could make that time standard I could race in the Olympic Trials!

In 2011 I raced the national 40K.  Elliott Denman and the Shore AC host a great race with the option of going the additional 10K for qualifying times/records.  So after I won the 40K outright (I beat all the guys) I kept going.  The last 10K was a bit slower than I would like, but I still made it under the qualifying time, walking a 4:42! 

That night after the race I went home and composed an email to the race walking Yahoo group and the RW executive committee, stating that I had bested the qualifying time for the 50K Olympic Trials and wanted to be allowed to compete.   I learned quickly that asking for a woman to compete in a "men's" event is close to religion and politics; people have their opinions and they are STRONG opinions.  I had lots of people who were very supportive and excited for me.  And then there was the other crowd.  The crowd that said I should stick to 20K and be happy with that.  There were people who said, "They will NEVER let a woman compete with the men."  There were people who said that letting a woman compete with men would be an embarrassment. 

Luckily my parents raised me to fight for what I believe is right, even if it's not the popular opinion.  So when the executive committee voted not to let me race, I didn't take that as the final answer.  I went to USATF and asked.  They also said no.  I asked again.  They said no again.  Then Elliott contacted a friend of his that worked for the NY Times.  He started writing an article about how a woman was not going to be given the same opportunities as the men and suddenly USATF changed their story.  Now I was welcomed with open arms!  I was going to be allowed to compete in the 50K Olympic Trials! 

I thought the hard work was done by this point, boy was I wrong.  Now even more words started flying around.  I had women from all over the world telling me how excited they were for this to happen, how they would love to race a 50K and hopefully their country would start hosting a 50 for women.  Women who told me how badly they wanted me to succeed.  On the other side of the coin I had people saying I was going to be an embarrassment, that it was going to detract from the men's race.  How I shouldn't be allowed to compete.  And what really got me is some of these comments were coming from women!   I went into the race knowing that there were men in the field that did not want me there, that some of the race organizers didn't want me there, and that there were people just waiting for me to mess up and fail.  Thank goodness for my amazing hubby Dave and the people who did support me.   I don't know what I would've done without them.  It was one of the most stressful times of my life beyond a doubt. 

Okay, I just realized how long this is getting, so maybe I'll tell the story in installments.  More later!

Hi everyone!  People have been telling me for a while that I should start a blog.  I have no idea how this will go, but what the heck!  My thought for this blog is to talk about anything and everything, as long as it relates to something.  Ideas for discussions are always welcome, and my hope is to get people thinking about training, competition, mental toughness, and whatever else applies to people's lives.  Everyone has ideas and experiences that can help others, so hopefully we can all help one another here.  

If anyone is wondering about the name of my blog "I'm Gonna Be,"  it's a song by the Proclaimers.  The chorus states "But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more...."  I like to think of this as my theme song, since I really like to walk and I really like to walk long distances.  Also, if you just think of the title, I'm Gonna Be... there are so many ways you could end that sentence.  I'm Gonna Be Awesome.   I'm Gonna Be The Best That I Can Be.   I'm Gonna Be Considerate.  There are so many things that a person could be.  That and the song is super catchy and makes me want to dance every time I hear it.   If you haven't heard the song here's a link to YouTube. As an added bonus it's the cast and crew of Doctor Who, with special appearance by the Proclaimers themselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c6qENWh2jQ

So I will try to post this and see how it works, if all goes well then I'll do another post that has some substance to it soon!