What I learned from watching this year's Boston Marathon

Holy cow, what a race!  Did you see it?  If you didn't you should find a way to watch it.  The consensus seems to be from all around it was the most miserable weather anyone can remember.  Cold with wind and sometimes torrential rains had many people changing predictions before the race.  But I don't think anyone would've predicted the outcome.

I am over the moon excited for Desiree Linden!  The announcers said this is the first marathon she's won.  Not the first major marathon, but first marathon.  She's been racing marathons for years, coming in 2nd in Boston in 2011 by a few seconds.  She obviously has the speed to win a marathon.  But it seems whenever she decided to run a marathon she decided to run a major marathon, one where she'd have to really be the best of the best that day. 

And the men's winner, Yuki Kawauchi, what a story.  He's won a marathon or two, or twenty!  He's the epitome of what a professional marathoner should NOT do.  He races around 12 hard marathons a year, plus also racing half marathons, 50Ks and other ultras.  He has no coach and works a full-time desk job. 

What do these two have in common?  They are very, very mentally tough. 

There's a Runner's World article from 2015 that talks about Kawauchi's training when he was 7 years old.  His mom would make him run penalty laps if he didn't set a personal best in training.  Every day.  If he was really slow he'd have to walk home by himself.  His high school coach also had the philosophy of pushing yourself to the limits very regularly.  He would often collapse in exhaustion at the end of practice.  He runs marathons now in whatever weather there is.  In one marathon around new years he ran and was the only person to finish it the weather was so bad.  He knows how to push himself, he has pushed himself, and he finishes races, no matter the conditions.

Desiree has an incredible resume.  In some ways she's always seemed like the perpetual bridesmaid.  Constantly so close.  Always up there, always qualifying for teams but never really considered a favorite.  But she's always out there pushing and trying her best.  It took a very long time in the broadcast for the announcers to even start talking about the fact that she was in the lead pack.  And then when they did it was because she waited for Shalane after her potty break to help her catch up. 

What does this mean?  Boston this year was a race that took the eliteness out of the elite.  It took out the racers who can race when conditions are perfect and stripped it down towards raw strength of will.  It stripped it down to those who run with their heart.   Those who don't have the ideal training, so that when the race wasn't ideal they could still run amazing. 

And you know what else I learned?  American women are tough!!!!!  Did you see how many American women were in the top 10?  Seven!!!!!  That is unbelievable!  Were they fast?  No, but nobody was.  What they were was tough.  The second place woman, Sarah Sellers, when she crossed the finish line asked what place she got.  The finish line officials told her second.  She was like, cool, in what division?  They told her overall and she was in disbelief.  She ran close to her best time, stayed smart and cool and composed.  What does she do in her real life?  She's a nurse who works 10 hour shifts.  She fits training in before and after work.  She runs when she's tired and her feet hurt and she had a tough day.  So when she raced and didn't feel good and it was a tough day it was just like training.

What can we learn from this?  Mental toughness is important.  It's not as important when things go well.  When things go well it's just a day.  It's when things are rough, when you're not having a good day, when the weather is awful, when you didn't get enough sleep or your eating is off, when you're having problems in your personal life and your mind just isn't in the game.  That's when mental toughness comes in. 

And this is where people may say, yes, they're tough, but I'm just not all that tough.  That may be true, but that doesn't mean it has to stay true!  We all have days where we look outside at the weather and think yuck, I don't want to go out in that.  How often do you go out in it and how often do you stay in?  Let me say that safety is always first!  Dangerous conditions are never worth a workout.  Your health and safety are never worth just one session.  Living in upstate New York with ice and snow storms sometimes decisions have to be made based on safety factors, not just the yuck factor. 

Think of mental toughness as a muscle that you can work.  Basically it's getting yourself out of your comfort zone and making it comfortable.  Getting used to changes, going with the flow, being adaptable, these are all things that can help you become more mentally tough.  Many of you know my favorite book, and one I make all my athletes read is "With Winning In Mind" by Lanny Basham.  If you haven't read it I highly recommend it.  He talks about mental toughness in his book, so I'll skip what he says and let you read it.

I will admit there are times I'm not as mentally tough as I could/should be.  But in other ways I consider myself very, very mentally tough.  Do I have room to improve, yep!  But I also know when race conditions get tough that I am tougher.   Are you mentally tough?  Could you be tougher?  Do you know what you could do to be tougher?  If you don't know what to do to be mentally tougher then let's start a dialogue, let's see if we can help each other become as mentally tough as the American women who ran Boston!


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Happy training everyone!

Jerzy Hausleber Memorial 50K

Another 50K in the books!  And what a weekend it was.  Lots of new friends, good times, oh, and a 50K!

I moved from the Villa I was staying at on Thursday and joined all the other athletes getting ready to race.  I had WIFI in my room, and meals that consisted of something other than rice and beans!  And people I could talk to in English!  It was wonderful.  I enjoyed my time at the Villa and everyone (except one cafeteria guard) was super nice and friendly and helpful.  But it is nice to watch TV and things like that.  I missed watching the Olympics!  (Thank goodness for DVR, I'm watching them now as I type this)

The weather for the 20K races on Saturday was really brutal, especially for the men.  It got really hot and humid and you could see it take it's toll on all the athletes.  The clouds came over for the women's race and the conditions were significantly better, but still quite warm.   I worked the aid table for the men's 20K and really enjoyed being on that side of things, cheering for friends, and making friends with the other people helping behind the tables.

My amazing personal cheering section!  They yelled and cheered for me every single lap!

Thankfully it wasn't slated to get as hot on Sunday.  After the men finished and I made sure the guys I knew were okay (some were in bad shape)  I went back to the hotel to cool off.  I was hot and I didn't even race!  I relaxed for a bit and then went to watch some of the women's race.  I had been standing in the sun and the heat for quite a while that day, so I didn't watch it all, but I saw enough to get really excited and motivated for my race.

One thing that had me a bit apprehensive was the judges.  Obviously my DQ from London was a big frustration for me.  And after surgery I worried that it might affect my technique for the negative.  I raced three major races since London (Our indoor national 5,000 champs, 30K national champs, and 50K national champs).  In all three I didn't get a single paddle or card.  But the judges seemed to really be watching everyone closely.  There were tons of cards on the board and a number of DQs.  So there was part of my brain that was getting nervous.  So part of my pre-race prep was spent with my eyes closed and "feeling" my technique in super slow motion.  I thought about each part of my step and how I wanted it to feel and how it would feel.  And I constantly thought to myself "I walk legal, I have very straight legs."

Funny story (at least to me).  There were no bananas at the host hotel!  I didn't even think about the possibility of no bananas!  And there were no grocery stores nearby.  Obviously I don't NEED bananas, but I sure do like them race morning.  As I was coming back from the women's 20K, to get back to the hotel you take a pedestrian bridge.  As I was coming down the steps there was a police vehicle parked to the right and I could see in the back windows to the back seats.  And what did my eyes spy but two bananas!!!!!  I hurried into the hotel to find someone who could translate for me.  I found one of the really nice Chilean guys and told him, "Will you go out to the cops out there and ask them if I can buy their bananas?  I saw them on the back seat."  He looked at me like I was a little nuts, but happily obliged.  The cops thought I was pretty funny, but were so nice.  They told him that they understood there were no stores around, and gave them to me as a gift!  How nice!  I was literally jumping up and down I was so happy!  People are just so darned nice!

I had a nice dinner and then read, stretched, and watched some Olympics.  Then I tried to sleep.  Some nights before races I have no problems sleeping and others it's not so smooth.  I woke up a couple times absolutely overheated and drenched in sweat.  I have no idea why.  I was just so hot.  It was a bit weird.  So when I got up in the morning I decided to take a cool shower to see if I could cool myself off, as well as get any salty sweat off my body.  Last thing I want is extra chaffing!

View of the course

I walked over, got my aid settled, did a small warm up, and was as ready as I was going to be!  My plan/hope was to be around 5:40 per K pace.  I thought it was possible to hold that the whole race.  However, when I started it just wasn't there.  So I went with it and tried to stay positive.  I started off in a solid fourth, as in fourth by a pretty big margin.  But it's a 50K and I knew a lot could change....

A bit before 20K or so I noticed Mariela Sanchez wasn't gaining on me anymore.  And then another lap or so I noticed she started coming back to me.  I was keeping my eyes open to see if I was gaining when suddenly I saw her on the sidelines.  I was very sad that she DNFed, but I also realized it put me in a podium spot which gave me a positive bust of energy.

Even though I started off not feeling how I hoped to feel, I was still really happy.  How could I not be?  I was racing a 50K at an IAAF challenge meet!  I was smiling and talking with people, which is common for me.  And when people see you appreciate them cheering for you they tend to cheer for you more!  And during some of the rough patches in the race it was that cheering that really kept me going!  By that point, since they had seen me so many times and so many times smiling, when the smile started to falter they knew I was hurting a bit and really cheered to help me out.  But I jump ahead.

Around 12K I started feeling better and picked it up a bit.  I picked it up to around where I had wanted to be.  My second 10K was about 45 seconds faster than my first.  So I backed off a bit.

I had sort of noticed for a while that second place didn't seem to be charging at the same speed she had been.  So at one point I asked Emmanuel to time what the gap was.  Next lap around he told me it was 9 minutes.  I said, yeah, but I think I'm gaining on her.  And someone at the aid table said, yeah, she's really coming back.  Next lap I came around and the gap was down to 7 minutes.  It gave me such a burst of excitement and adrenaline.  I picked it up and charged after her.  I think at one point I said something like "she's mine!" (meaning I can catch her).  Quentin, in his usual voice of reason at one point said to me, "You're going to catch her, but there's still a long way to go."  It was either at 34 or 36K that he said that.  I think I replied to him, "Yeah, but I'm still feeling good."  Famous last words, lol....

So the gap went from 9 minutes to 7, to 4:30, 2:20 and then I was ahead of her by around 150 meters the next lap.  I did at one point in those last few laps realize that I should calm down and I backed off.  Even with the backing off I still caught second that quickly.  But the damage, I guess you could say, was done.  Because then I started to rig up.  Instead of continuing to gain a few minutes a lap on her I started going close to the same pace.  By that point I had a good 3-4 minute lead so I wasn't too worried.  And first was far enough ahead that I knew I had no chance of catching her.  So I went through some mental calculations.  I never intended to race this race 100% all out.  It was always designed to be a solid workout.  So I thought, well, I can charge ahead knowing it will probably cost me in recovery time and delay training.  So I kept my eye on third to make sure she wasn't getting a second wind and just focused on finishing strong and solid.

So I learned a lot.  You don't have to catch someone in 6-8K when you have about 18K to do it.  I think charging like that probably cost me 5-7 minutes overall in my time.  Good lesson to learn!

I was really happy with my aid.  I drank some water every lap from the race aid station, as well as sponged myself.  Because that feeling of being overheated that I had before the race continued during the race.  I just smiled to myself and told myself, "boy, it sure is nice how cool it is today!"  That seemed to work well.

Regina, her three sisters, and the guide at the museum... yes, they give you a guide at the museum! 

During my stay at the Villa I made friends.  There was one girl, Regina, who had just started learning to race walk.  She was so sweet.  She spoke less English than I spoke Spanish, so we would futz though talking.  She raced the 2K on Saturday and I was there when she finished.  She did so good!  Her and her three older sisters came to the race and made a huge banner for me that said "Go Erin, Go!" with hearts and stuff.  The first time I saw the sign I almost started crying!  They yelled and screamed for me every single lap!  I just love how sports, even when you don't speak the same language, can bring people together.

Most of the team that trains at the Villa (a few girls are missing, Regina is far left)

So I got second!  How cool is that!  And what a big award!  I was lucky it fit in my luggage.  It made my bag too heavy.  Two days after the race (Tuesday) I feel great!  I went for a walk today and felt amazing.  So I think my recovery will be quick and I can get right back to training and getting ready for China.  To have gotten this strong after only two months decent training, with two more months before China I'm feeling really excited for the possibilities.

Making new friends!

Monterrey, Mexico training camp!

sunrise on my way to Monterrey

To get ready for my next 50K on Feb 25th, I decided to come to Monterrey two weeks early to get some training in that wasn't in snow or my local HS hallway...  Here's how it's been going so far.

I arrived last Saturday after 16 total hours travel.  Everyone was super nice!  The lady that picked me up brought her brother in law assuming (correctly) that my Spanish wasn't great and he could translate.  I got checked in to the CARE center (I've forgotten what it stands for) which is a big building with lots of dorm-style rooms.  It ends up this is where kids come to live and train for their disciplines.  There's track and field, rollerblading, archery, martial arts, springboard diving, BMX racing, cycling, tennis, and I feel like I'm leaving something out.  There's a school on location so they can live, study and train here.  This makes me slightly out of place, being an adult, but since there's coaches who stay here too I think a lot of the kids think I'm another coach.

The facilities are pretty bare bones, but functional.  The dining hall serves cafeteria style food, nothing fancy, but definitely gets the job done.  I'm used to eating about 5 smaller meals a day, so adapting to three meals only has been a bit of a challenge.  I brought some food with me, but in hindsight not enough.  A trip to the grocery store will be in order before my stay is over.  There's a weight room with a lot of equipment, much of it with a "do not use" sign because it's broken, but everyone I've seen in there is working hard and having fun.  There seems to be a coach for every event.  I've seen a hurdle coach, long jump coach, sprint coach and throwing coach, and met and spoken a bunch with the race walk coach.  Everyone is super friendly and we try really hard to communicate.  Mostly people are surprised I'm here by myself,, they keep asking where my coach is.

The whole compound is located inside a big park, which has a 2K roadway around the middle.  The outside half is for cyclists and the inside is for rollerbladers and runners/race walkers.  The surface is really nice and easy to walk on.

The day after I arrived I had a 40K session.  Saturday, when I was being shown around, I asked if it was safe to leave my bottles by the road during my workout.  he thought for a minute and said no, it's a public park and couldn't guarantee someone wouldn't take the bottles.  No problem, makes sense, I figured I'd wear my pack and then when I was out of drink would hurry to my room (about 150 meters and 4 flights of stairs), change bottles and keep going.  No problem.  He asked when I would do my workout, I said probably at 7:00 AM.

Sunday morning I wake up and go to the dining hall and have a nice breakfast.  There's no WiFi in the rooms, you have to be in the courtyard area to get online, so I was sitting on a bench about 6:40 and a guy comes up to me and says, "Erin?  Hi, I'm here to do your aid."  Say what?  They found someone to come with water, powerade and ice and he stayed out with me for the whole workout!  I felt bad and told him he didn't have to do that.  he said "my job today is to take care of you."  Wow!!!!  And I was so glad he was there.  The last 15k or so of my session the temperature got up to the low 80s, way hotter than I'm used to, and the extra water to pour over me and the ice to put in my bra helped me get through the session really strong.  Talk about nice!  I went out later that evening for a second session and did another 5K, ending up with a 5:35K, so I was super happy about that.

Yesterday evening I saw some race walkers and introduced myself and met their coach, who speaks pretty good English.  He's super nice and we had a very nice chat.  One of the girls he's training just started walking three weeks ago.  She's not fast but has a very nice technique.  I did her cool down with her and she was so excited.  We "talked" as much as our limited bi-lingual abilities would let us, and it was really nice.  When the coach heard I was doing 30K the next morning he offered to do my aid for me.  I told him he didn't need to do that and he said, "I have nothing else to do."  Meaning his job is to be there coaching the race walkers.  And he said what I have always felt, that we are all cousins in race walking and help each other!

It seems that the sickness that's back home is here too, and I wonder if I'm catching it or relapsing from what I had in NY.  Today I had a 30K session planned and started off my first 2K sooooo slow and my heart rate was waaaaay up.  I stretched a bit and tried again and just went slower.  I came around again and the coach even said I didn't look good.  Really stiff, no flexibility and not looking good in the face (lol).  So I decided to stop the session (my fourth K was 6:40!) and take a nap.  I laid down and five minutes later was ravenously hungry.  I had a few snacks in my room and ate them and then slept for three hours straight!  I've currently got a headache and a slightly upset tummy, but am really hoping the power of positive thinking, some good food, and a good night's rest will result in tomorrow being a bright new day.  This was one day where the mind was willing but the body was not.

I've used the day very productively, getting ahead on my school work, I have less than two weeks left of classes and will be really happy to be done with the degree.  Then I'll have a review class that's extra and then I can take the certification exams!

I've also been re-reading "With Winning in Mind" by Lanny Basham.  I've mentioned the book before and I swear, every time I read it I learn something new!  It's helping me get even more focused and excited about the year.  And another thing it's helped me realize is this:  I may not have been able to workout how I wanted to today, but that doesn't mean the day was a failure.  I have used the day to work on my mental game and I have done the smart thing and not gotten myself so exhausted that it would take days to recover.

The race should be fun.  I've heard there are five women officially entered; three from Mexico, one from Bolivia, and me.  Then I guess there are two women who have yet to declare if they will do 20 or 50.  Hopefully they choose 50!

Fingers crossed I wake up tomorrow feeling better!  Happy training everyone!

How salty my pants were after my 40K! 

evening view from my window

roller blade track

stadium

rock climbing walls

volley ball courts

diving pools

diving practice

velodrome

part of the 2K loop for cyclists/roller bladers/runners/ race walkers

courtyard of the dorms

making new race walking friends!

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recap of the 50K national championships and moving forward

made it to the end!

Better late than never?  I've been meaning to get this written for a while, but life has been so busy lately!

Overall I was quite happy with how the race went.  I had zero paddles or card, so a very clean race!  And, best of all, no pain!  My hip didn't hurt at all!  I had a few moments where it was tired and cranky, but that's to be expected doing a 50K where the last time you've walked anything over 25K was August....

In hindsight I started off too fast.  I thought I could be anywhere between 4:45 and 5:30 and ended up just under 5 hours.  But my first 10K was 56:31.  It felt so good to be able to move again!  I hit 20K in 1:53:26 and then it sort of went downhill.  But then it went back uphill a bit.  During the race Tracy Sundland was interviewing Phillip Dunn and during the interview he spoke about how in a 50K you'll have a time where you sag down and then can come back up from it.  I was happy that I was able to come back up! 

Happy to be done with my athlete AJ, who finished third! 

The one thing the race gave me was definite hope!  I'm going to be able to come back and I'm going to be able to come back stronger than ever!

Chloe is quite famous in the Santee area. (And yes, I was able to get back up all by myself from this position!) 

Since the race training has been going pretty well.  I've had some amazing workouts.  I really try to train for consistency over single amazing workouts, but with the weather being, shall we say non cooperative, I've had to adapt as best I can.  For the most part it's been very successful.  But I will say, I now know the inside of the school hallways much, much better than I ever wanted to.  For example, Sunday I did 30K in the morning and 10K in the evening, so a total of 112 laps.  Thank goodness for Podcasts!  If anyone has some they enjoy I'm up for suggestions.  I've been listening to TED Radio and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Saturday I'm escaping this winter wonderland to head down to Monterrey, Mexico for a few weeks before racing another 50K February 25th.  I'm really happy to be going to get some solid training, but sad I'll be leaving.  It's been really nice being home, and I enjoy coaching the kids.  I'm missing the last two weeks of their season, but I know they'll be ready.  First I need to kick this dumb cold I caught.  I'm not sure how the human body can create so much mucus....

There's the short story!  If all goes to plan I'll have a nice seasons best to write about after Feb 25th!

Happy training!
ERin
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It may be cold, but it's beautiful

Our National 50K championships are in two days, here's how I'm really feeling about it

Two days til my favorite type of race.... a 50K!!!!  It has been a bumpy roller coaster ride the last five months.  Very bumpy and very up and down.  And now the race is in two days.  Here's some of the thoughts going through my brain.

1.  My goal is to finish.  I know, the first goal is always to finish.  But sometimes we just say it and then have a goal that really means something.  In this case it really is just to finish.  The most Ks I've put together in a single day since August is 31K and those were not fast.  I know I'm coming into this race undertrained.  Not because I've been slacking, in some ways I've worked harder in the last 5 months since surgery than I have in my life, it's just that the working hard I've done hasn't been putting miles down on the road.  So I want to finish.  I want to know that my recovery is done and I'm on my road back.  Not just back to recovery to the old me, but on the road to being a better version of myself.  One where I can push through anything.  One where I can be tough and focused and ready for any challenge. 

2.  The last month or so have been mentally very challenging.   And I do mean very.  I'm a big proponent of consistent training.  That it's not super awesome workouts you have once in a while, but putting in the work over time.  I haven't been able to do that, for one reason or another, and it kills me.  And of course, like most athletes, once I have a good day I automatically want to think "all right!  That's it!  I'm back!  Now I can put my mileage back up to where it used to be!"  Which is of course silly.  The worst part is when I have a few good days in a row and I think I really am back to my old self (or on the way to becoming better self) and then it all falls apart.  Case in point.  Sunday I went to an indoor track meet.  I got there super early and did a longish warm up.  About 7K.  After the first two K being rough because I was tight, I was actually moving quite well.  Then I raced a 5,000.  I pushed myself hard and went over 30 seconds faster than I raced the national 5,000 indoors December 30th.  Not too bad for three weeks later!  Then, that night I went to the high school and did 10K in the halls.  It went great!  I felt awesome!  The next day, Monday, I was a bit tired, as expected since that was, for me an awesome day, but still did another fantastic 10K.  Tuesday we had a big storm and the school closed and the roads were covered in snow so I didn't get out to race walk.  But I did some elliptical and it was brutal.  I was so slow and heavy.  No problem I thought, you had two solid days, a day rest will do good for you.  Then Wednesday you can do some speed.  Wrong!  Wednesday I had nothing in my legs.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  And even worse was how it made me feel mentally.  Five days before the race and there's nothing there.  Now I know that there's still plenty of time for my body to recover and be ready for Saturday, and I'm sure I will be.  Unless I get sick or something like that I'm always ready on race day.  But I missed the mental confidence of doing a solid session before the race. 

3.  I'm really having to try and relearn some mental toughness.  Not the mental toughness of pushing through a session or a race, the mental toughness of feeling like I'm failing.  Of feeling like I should be so much farther ahead than I am.  Of when I have those days when I'm just so down and all I want to do is lay on the couch and feel sorry for myself to instead pick myself up and ask myself, what can I do to make today a success?  Some days the answer has legitimately been to rest.  Some days it's to make sure I do extra core work, or to stretch, or to read some articles on mental toughness.  But then every day I can say I did something to make myself better. 

4.  With all this I'm still going to have an awesome race.  How do I know?  Because I love 50Ks!  Because I am so thankful to be out there racing.  Racing the distance I love with other women who now have the opportunity to race it internationally.  Knowing that many of them are there because I helped open the door for them.  Knowing that I'm fighting my way for a spot on the team to go to China and race.  How cool is that?  I usually don't like talking about how fast I hope/expect to go in a race, but this time I will.  I have no idea!  I honestly could go anywhere between 4:45 and 5:30.  My plan?  To start off feeling comfortable and hold on and push the last 10K.  Whatever comes out comes out.  Saturday is basically a training walk for me getting ready for Mexico and ultimately China.

5.  My goal between now and Saturday morning?  Get as mentally ready as I can.  Smile a lot.  Be excited to see my friends and my parents.  Enjoy getting out of this snowy land of cold for a few days and be happy and excited to race yet another 50K!   

National 5,000 meter indoor championships - recap

The USATF Indoor 5,000 national championships, hosted by the Upstate Holiday Classic.  Five days before the meet I couldn't walk at 6 per K pace, so I had no clue what I'd be capable of doing, so I thought I'd go out and wing it and see what happened.

There's always little things to get organized the day of a meet, so I was running around way more than I normally would before a race and thus didn't get it a lot of a warm up.  So even once the gun went off I had no clue what I'd do or how fast I'd go, so I just thought I'd have fun and race!

I can't even tell you how happy and excited I was that my first K was 4:51!  I have speed!  It's still there!  I couldn't hold it, but hey, that'll come back over time.  My K splits were:
4:51
5:02
5:10 (15:03)
5:15
5:12 (25:29)

Pretty happy with that.  I felt like I could've kept going at that pace I settled into for longer, I wasn't going super hard, just lost that faster gear.   But for me it was so much more, it was hope.  Hope that I can get back to where I was, hope that I can exceed where I was, and hope that good things are to come.  Whew!  Hope!

My athlete AJ was going for a record in the 10,000.  One of the benefits of only doing the 5,000 was I got to watch him and cheer for him.  He was on pace right up until 4 laps to go.  And if you know AJ you know he always has a faster gear his last lap.  But you can never take anything for granted.  with four laps to go he decided that he really didn't want his breakfast in his stomach anymore.  After finding a convenient garbage can by the track he then made me so super proud by picking himself back up and finishing.   It's that toughness that will make him an awesome 50K walker!

And here's what makes me even happier about my road back...  I did 20K today.  that in itself isn't so impressive, so bear with me for just a sec.  The temperature today was 2 Fahrenheit (-15 Celsius) with wind and the road were still snowy and icy.  So I did it inside at the school.  The last 5K of my workout was 25:51!  Very exciting!

So here's to a new year.  A year of fun new challenges, a year of seeing how hard I can work, a year of setting goals and breaking them and a year of enjoying life.   Here's to an awesome 2018!

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2018, a year of potential firsts

2017 was a big year.  A lot of amazing things happened.  And some big frustrations.  I'm thrilled with how the women's 50K is moving along.  There's still more work to be done, but now that work is being shared by multiple hands.  So along with racing 50K this year, I've got some other new and fun goals.  A year of (potential) firsts....

This will be the first year I race a 50K in an IAAF Challenge race!  Monterrey, Mexico is having a woman's 50K in February and I'm excited to be going to compete.

You know the Tour de France?  Did you know there's a comperable race for walkers?  The women's race is called Paris-Alsace.  There are four stages that go from Wednesday evening to Sunday morning.  The distances haven't been finalized yet, but they'll be something like: Stage 1, 10K.  Stage 2, 34K.  Stage 3, 224K (yes, you read that right) and Stage 4, 60K.  No American woman has ever finished.  I want to finish and be on the podium.

To prepare for this race I plan to race the USATF 100K road race championships.  I'll race walk it against the runners. 

After our 50K national championships in January I hope to be on the team for the World Team Championships, which will have a woman's 50K race.  I think the US can have a really strong team and I hope to be a valuable member of that team. 

In 2016 I earned my US Centurion badge by walking 100 miles in under 24 hours.  In August I will attempt to earn my British Centurion badge by doing the same thing (hopefully faster) on the Isle of Man.  the race will be held on the track and I will aim for a few records along the way.  No American woman has earned more than one Centurion badge, so I want to be on multiple Centurion lists.  My ultimate goal is to get on all the active lists, but that'll take a number of years.

I may race at the World Masters Championships in Malaga, Spain, but it's only about 3 weeks after the 100 miler so I may not be quite recovered yet....

Of course I'll fill in the holes with some races here and there.  But this year is going to be a fun year.  I'm going to enjoy myself, race as hard as I can, and work on getting as strong as possible.  But the big goal will be to have fun.  I love race walking.  I love the people and the places I get to travel to and visit.  The last few years of race walking have been stressful.  Not this year!  It's going to be a great year! 

If you'd like to help me out, there's a few ways you can do so.  First, just let me know you're rooting for me!  it's always nice to know there are people out there who cheer you on and support you!  Two, click on the ads on this blog.  I earn money each time people click on the ads, so if everyone clicks a couple times it'll really add up!  Three, if you need to purchase something online, please consider doing it through my online stores.  I earn money back for things you'd buy anyway.  Four, share my FB page and this blog with your friends.  In the search for sponsors and such they look at how much online engagement you have.  So having lots of people like your page and comment really helps a lot.  And last, just keep being awesome. 

Happy training!

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I'm baaaack.....

Or at least I'm pretty sure I'm back!  You'd think with having hip surgery it would free up a ton of time to do things.  Important things like writing blog posts, but in some ways I was even busier.  I was cross training sometimes 5 hours a day and going back to school so lots of studying.  It was great to stay busy so I wouldn't fret as much about my race walking. 

Once I was cleared to race walk I started off slow and easy so I wouldn't damage anything.  Training was going okay, nothing really fast, but hey, that's okay!  About 10 weeks after surgery I raced the national 30K and got it done.  My first 10K was 55 minutes and that was the fastest I'd done a 10K since surgery so I was pretty happy with that.  I felt like progress was being made and I was just headed up from there.

Then weird things started happening when I would train.  I'd start off fine and just slow down.  It wasn't that I was tired or out of shape, I'd just slow down, sometimes to around 7:30 per K pace, so I was basically hiking.  It was getting really frustrating because sometimes I could only hold 6 per K pace for one or two K.  That is a lot of frustration.  No one seemed to know what was causing it.  We were trying different things but nothing was working.  And my frustration level was going up exponentially. 

I was doing a workout on Christmas, some fun cross training, and then started to stretch.  I jumped on the roller and was rolling around while watching TV.  I wasn't really paying attention to where I was rolling, just rolling around.  I started rolling the front of my right leg.  At first it felt good, like it was tight and was getting stretched.  Then I had a very sudden and very sharp pain to the point where it floored me and I couldn't move for a few minutes.  I thought, well, okay, no more rolling that leg, so I went to roll over and stretch my left leg.  In the process of rolling over my right leg went into some sort of spasm and it was excruciating.  That was the end of stretching and I didn't workout out again that day.   My right leg was so grumpy and painful where that pain was. 

The next day it still hurt but I jumped on the bike and it felt fine.  I did some elliptical and it felt fine.  So I thought after track practice I'd try some easy laps.  Lately, when I've been doing a workout I'll do a 5K in around 31 minutes or so.  Tuesday, without any effort, I did a 5K in the school hallways in 26:53!  Whew!  It finally felt like me again!  It felt like an honest effort and I could move. 

I thought about what happened and came up with a hypothesis and checked with my PT the next morning that he confirmed.  When I rolled I must have rolled over a bunch of scar tissue that was sticking to the muscles where they went in and out a bazillion times for the surgery.  It freed everything up.  It's still super sore, almost bruised, but I can move again! 

One thing that's interesting about the timing of all this was mentally I was just getting to the point where I was thinking there was no point in racing the 50K in January.  I went from a real mental low to feeling so excited and hopeful.  There's always hope, it may just take a while (like 5 months). 

I went out yesterday and walked twice, once before and once after track practice and it went great both times.  It looks like that might have really helped.  Now I just need to really work to keep those muscles unstuck! 

Here's what I learned, don't give up.  Everyone says it, it's almost cliche, but people say it for a reason.  You have to keep trying and pushing and working for what you believe in.  It won't be easy, it'll be frustrating, but the fight is worth it.  And surround yourself with people who will be positive and supportive.  It's at those real lows you need people who also believe in you.  People who will support and lift you up.  Get as many people around you as you can, find a team of people you can rely on and talk about your frustrations with.  It's so important when you're in a low spot.  You'll also be able to find out who your true friends are in times like that.  You may feel like your circle of friends gets smaller, but it'll be a smaller and stronger circle. 

Now it's time to look to the future.  I've got an amazing year planned full of fun new firsts.  But I'll talk about that under separate blog.

Thanks for reading, please share with your friends :)

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London - Recap

Well, it's over.  I went to London, did my best and had a not so great day.  The gun sounded and I felt great, I was right on pace for a 4:27 and feeling super.  It was suggested by some that my SI joint  or my back was out.  This was not the case at all.  The USATF medical staff were simply amazing and my body was completely and fully functioning.  And to me my technique felt solid.   The paddles came early and quick and I had almost reached 9K when I saw the dreaded red paddle.  In every picture I've seen my legs were dead straight.  I would ask if anyone has pictures or video of me to please send them my way as I'd like to take a look.  But I did get this comment post race:  " I looked at the first four laps and you were not bent legged. It was clearly political."

On to happier things.  It was an amazing race!  The women out there did all women proud.  Everyone fought every step of the way.  No one DNFed.  Two athletes were forced to stop due to the time limit restriction, but they pushed all the way.  The men's side saw 6 DNFs and a few of the guys were death marching by the end.  Ines broke the world record and the support from the crowd was incredible.  The announcers were positive and excited for what would happen in the future.  It was an amazing day for women's 50K race walkers!  And I am happy and proud that I was out there giving my best alongside them.

I want to address, one last time, the negativity.  After this post I'll leave it, because some people will never listen or adjust their narrow views.  But some are still willing to look at other sides.  And some of it has been directly personal, and that hurts.

1.  Criticism that the IAAF was forced, the event should've been allowed to grow organically, not pushed so that only a select few were allowed to compete, it should've been done a different way:
First, with all the people who have complained that it was gone about the wrong way, not one single person has stood up to say they will help to do it the right way going forward.  Not one.  People are willing to criticize, to yell that they didn't like how it was done, but no one has anything to back it up to change things for the future.  But, to address some of this we must go into points of law, not opinion.  This is an important distinction.  Points of law are not to be swayed by emotions or opinions.  Did I go to the Court of Arbitration of Sport (CAS)?  I can't say.  It's confidential.  As a matter of law I cannot tell people if I even went or not.  If it were to be found out that I talked to people while a case with CAS were potentially going on (let us speak in a hypothetical for a while) it could completely negate the case, if there were one.  And let's think about law for a minute.  When someone wants to point out an inequality, they have to do so in specifics, not generalizations.  You can't have someone go to court for "equal pay for women."  It has to affect someone specific and in particular.  Then that particular person has to go to court for "equal pay for her." Along the way it will help other women, but that is a side benefit, not the crux of the case.
Now, let's say, in a hypothetical, that an athlete does go to CAS stating that the time limit imposed is not gender equal for the London World Championships.  That is a specific event that is being spoken about as that is the event that is forthcoming.  Now, let's say, in a hypothetical, that the IAAF comes back and says, well, we'll give you London or we'll give you Taicang.  Two things here.  First, a matter of law.  If the lawyer that is representing the athlete says, hey, take Taicang, that'll be better for all women all over the world, believe it or not, that would be grounds for that lawyer to be disbarred.  Yes, the lawyer could lose their license for suggesting taking that bargain.  Crazy right?  You say, but that's silly!  But as a matter of law (not opinion or feelings) it is.  This is because you're giving up a tangible (the event for which the athlete should have qualified for and the event for which the case came about) for an intangible (an event that the athlete could possibly qualify for, but hasn't yet qualified for since nothing for that event has yet to be decided including qualifying times, qualifying races and so on).
It was stated that because I'm having hip surgery I wanted to go to London because I won't be competing next year.  That person took some information and made their own assumptions.  I will not be out of competition next year.  I am taking the rest of the year off for the surgery and to train and improve my overall fitness, but I will be on the start line in January ready for my next 50K.  Unless something goes horribly wrong with the surgery and it ends my career, but that is incredibly doubtful.
Third, and to me the most obvious.  If you had a race with women in it in Rome, you had a race with women in it in London, why in the world would you think that trend wouldn't continue?  If the fight was won for London, why would you think the fight wouldn't also be won for Taicang?  Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today?  For all the women who were complaining of what they "might" have done if they'd known?  Every woman could see the writing on the wall.  Some chose to take a risk and a gamble, some didn't.  That was their choice.  Now they know.  All women know.  There is no longer ANY excuse.  If you want to do a 50K, start training.  Otherwise no complaining.

2.  Said athlete (AKA me)  did it for purely selfish reasons, not caring for the sport at all, but purely for her own gains:
I have a fairly thick skin, you have to in some ways to be a race walker with the ridicule we get while out training.  But I will be honest with you and say that this hurt, and hurt to my core.  Especially since it came from people who I thought were, maybe not necessarily my friends, but at least knew me well enough to be able to judge motives.  Let's get the first bit out of the way.  Do I want to race 50Ks?  YES!  Of course I do!  Duh!  What else have I been doing since 2010?  It is the event I love.  So will the things that get fought for also affect me?  Yes.  Because I am a female 50K race walker.  But everything I have done has been for women in general (and since I am -generally- a woman it will also be for me).  In 2012 when I asked to be allowed to race in the Olympic Trials, you could say that was just for me, but that was because no other women had made the standard.  However, look how that changed for 2016 and how many women we had compete!  In 2013 when I lobbied for equal prize money for women, yes I did get prize money, but so did the other women that year.  And all women in years after that.  Some have even thanked me.  Last year we drove over 1,000 miles traveling to high schools in the region giving clinics for the athletes and for the coaches.  None of it was paid, all of it came out of our pocket.  We did it because we care and want the race walks to stay strong in our region.  We put on races for athletes to achieve qualifying times, and publish it well in advance.  This is in opposition to some people who host races and don't publish it until a few days before so only their athletes get the opportunity to participate.  We host national championships.  Last year we personally took a $900 loss in putting on races.  We work to get more officials in our association to have better quality races.  I was the Niagara Association RW chair for USATF for something like 4 years (I am passing that baton this year).  I coach athletes, two of which qualified for outdoor nationals this year and one of whom has made a national team.  Yes, I do get paid for some of them, but I also am of the belief that no one should go without a coach, so if there are financial hardships I work out deals with the athletes.  The most I have ever charged is $50 a month, and that is for full access coaching.  On average I spend 10-30 hours with my athletes per month.  In no way am I getting rich from coaching.  Anyone who sends me video to analyze I do, for no fee.  I have spent my life giving to the sport, and this is what I've gotten back, personal attacks and being told I'm selfish.  And even in the personal attacks I can't catch a break.  On the one hand I get "She went about it all wrong, she made the wrong decisions, she's going to ruin the 50K"  but then they turn around and say "I hope she keeps fighting so that more women can race in Taicang."  Really?  Which is it?  I do it all wrong or you want me to move forward?  



3.  And let's address that comment, the women are going to ruin the 50K:
How quickly people forget.  Who remembers April?  I don't remember the exact date and I'm too lazy to look it up, when it was leaked that the 50K was going to be dropped after London?  The outrage, the movement to save the men's 50K?  People have been trying to get rid of the 50K or the race walk in general for years.  We have these same discussions after every Olympics.  But now all of a sudden it's the women's fault?  That's just absolutely absurd.  The IOC has said it wants equality and 23 events for women and 24 for men is not equality.  Any reporter looking at an Olympic program can count and see there's an inequality there.  But wait, you say!  They don't specify if it's number of athletes or number of events!  Ah, ha!  I've got you!  That's just silly beyond words.  That is such a chauvinist comment.  It's like trying to figure out the smallest possible way to get equality, the least amount of fairness you can find.  Equality means being equal in numbers, and number of athletes and number of events are all numbers.  There is no (good) reason to leave the women out of the 50K.  But wait, you say!  It's more than just equality, it's finances.  The race needs to make them happy in terms of money.  No, that is bad logic for a number of reasons.  Adding the women doesn't change the financial problems that RWing has for the games.  You're still not going to sell tickets.  What we have going for us, same with the marathon, but better, is that people can come and watch and DON'T have to pay for tickets.  It's the people's race.  They get to experience the best in the world and be up close and personal.  The Mall was packed with people!  And they were yelling and cheering for the women like crazy.  Especially wen Ines broke the world record.  And we're not a long course that you're only going to see people go by once or twice.  You can stand there and watch the entire race unfold.  That is something special.


4.  The women's 50K should be allowed to grow organically:
I didn't realize we were talking about a garden.  Pre 2004 if an event was going to be added you had to show a certain level of participation from a certain number of federations.  This was how the women's steeple, hammer, and pole vault came to be.  But a significant thing happened in 2004, the IAAF Constitution was changed.  In Article 4 reads the following:
        3.  To encourage participation in Athletics at all levels throughout the world regardless of age, GENDER, or race.
        4.  To strive to ensure that no gender, race, religious, political or other kind of unfair discrimination exists, continues to exist, or is allowed to develop in Athletics in any form, and that all may participate in Athletics regardless of their gender, race, religious or political views or any other irrelevant factor.
These are matters of law.  Again, not opinion, feelings or thoughts.  No longer do we have to let things grow organically, it's a matter of being right and fair and equal.  Half of what I've heard is all the women who would've done a 50K had they just but known.  Time to put your money where your mouth is.  We will show the world how strong women 50K walkers are!


5.  Judging.  If we add women in with the men it'll be a judging nightmare:
All one has to do is look at what the DQ board looked like to see that the judges obviously had no problems seeing the athletes.  It's a 50K.  You've got over three and a half hours to judge the athletes.  You're going to see them potentially 50 times (25 laps, twice per lap, if you're looking across, otherwise around 25 times).  By around 30K or so you start to see some drop, and the packs are definitely thinned down to maybe half a dozen.  Compare this to the 20K where there are packs of 8-10 up through 16K.  Now that's a lot harder to judge.  By the end of the 50K it was incredibly easy to judge the athletes, the course was starting to look barren with all the DNFs and DQs.  That argument makes no sense, and really is not relevant to a matter of equality anyway.

So let's recap.  I shouldn't have fought, but I'm supposed to keep fighting.  Why should I?  For all the ungrateful people out there, including some competitors who raced?  Those who couldn't even say thank you to the lawyer who fought tirelessly for them to be out there?  Who couldn't even be appreciative for what they had and instead had to complain that they didn't know?  When they knew just as much as everyone else.  And no, I didn't know months before hand.  I was trying to hit the 20K standard just like everyone else.  I had things happen that made outdoor nationals not the race I wanted, but I chose, after the 50K in January, to focus the rest of my year on the 20K.  My training diary shows it.  I wasn't secretly trying to gain an advantage over people.  I have always publicly stated that I want to win because I'm the best person out there on the day, not because of some other type of advantage.  That's not who I am or who I ever have been.  I believe in fair play and sportsmanship.  When I coached a HS team in NYC my girls knew the only way to get kicked off the team was for unsportsmanlike conduct.  They could miss practices and I would understand, but if I saw them being unsportsmanlike that was it, off the team.
Everyone had the same information, and all five competitors got the official notification at the same time.  The area champions found out later.  Some focused just in case.  Ines told me her federation had appealed to the IAAF twice to let her compete by virtue of being the world record holder and was denied.  But she never gave up hope and trained just in case.  Of course she also had a spot on the 20K team, so she knew she was going either way, but she chose to train for the 50K.  We all made decisions based on what we knew and thought was best.  

Should I continue to fight for others when I'm the one who's out the time, energy, stress and money? When I personally have to put out money for fees?  I was desperately hoping to finish strong and earn some prize money in London.  That did not happen.  Now I have financial issues to address on top of the emotional toil all this took out of me.  I did that for the women out there as well as myself.  Did it benefit me, of course, but I still did it for others as well.  Listen to interviews I've given, I always talk about other women competing and having the opportunity to compete.

And one of the saddest parts of all this is realizing how people you thought were your friends really are not.  And no, I don't go for the whole, "I'm a supporter of you and consider you a friend but I'm going to publicly bash you and you should still think we're friends."  That doesn't work for me.  I don't do that to my friends.  If I disagree with them on something I will tell them, but I will approach them privately, not smear things all over FB.

There have been supporters, and lots of them.  But here's the thing guys, you need to yell as loud as the naysayers.  People say on FB that the overwhelming response to this was negative.  Well, from what you see on FB, yes it was.  But from what I got in my inbox no it wasn't.  Those of you who believe in this and are supportive need to use your voices.  When you see the slamming you need to take a stand.  Saying it privately is nice and very appreciated, but it still leaves only the negative out there with no one speaking up.

I never answered the question.  Will I continue to fight?  I'm really hopeful that the IAAF will do the right thing and add a women's 50K to Taicang now.  If they don't?  Right now honestly I'm not sure.  I have to recover from the past month, both emotionally and financially and then reassess.  Do I want to?  Yes.  Will I?  We'll see.