The fight to get women equal treatment in the Tokyo Olympics has been on going. CAS said they would rule on the merits literally half a year ago. They've been stringing us along. Now they say they can't help. They, the highest sports court in the world, can't help athletes. I call bogus. I'm upset, I'm frustrated and honestly I'm pissed. Not only for us women but also for our Lawyer Paul, who has spent countless hours and resources helping us. I'm upset that women are STILL treated like this in the year 2020, and even more so I'm upset that there are people who think it's okay that women are treated like this.
I realize that there are bigger issues in the world. There are huge injustices happening all over the globe every single minute of every single day. But to me this was such an easy one to fix. Their biggest problem was that we didn't ask at the right time, we needed to ask three years ago and the problem now was that there was NO WAY logistically they could add an event less than a year from the Olympics. That's what they based their main argument on. The logistics would just be impossible. Never mind it's not really adding an event, it's adding 60 women to the 60 men that are out there.
Then they announced that they would move the marathon and the Race Walk to Sapporo, against the wishes of the Tokyo government. Not knowing where courses would be. Not knowing so many, many things. Can you imagine the logistics involved in moving five events?!?!?! And I thought to myself, there goes their big argument! There goes what they were basing it all on. And now they did that. What reason could they possibly have to say no now?
They found their way out. They found their loophole. They wanted so badly to keep equality out that they found a way. Never mind that every single everything talks about equality and how they strive for it. It would've been so simple to do, so very, very simple.
The words are all jumbled up inside. I just can't even... I hate injustice. I hate feeling helpless and weak. I hate not having somewhere/someone else to go to. I hate feeling like a bunch of old dudes are getting the final word. I want to scream, I want to yell, I want to cry, I want to punch a wall (but I won't). I'm mad.
To the people who have always stood beside me in the fight for equality, all the way back since 2011, thank you for 9 long years of support. To those who get outraged at the unfair treatment, thank you. And for those of you who read this decision and don't get upset, why not? Shame on you. You should.
If you haven't read the excellent summary that Paul wrote I will copy it here.
Thank you.
From Coubertin to Bach: the Olympic Champions of Sexism
By Paul F. DeMeester
On August 7, up to 60 male athletes will vie for gold in the 50K Race Walk Event at the 2020 Olympic Games in Japan. Women 50K walkers, however, are excluded from Olympic competition, rendering the race the only track and field event still subject to sex discrimination.
On March 31, 2019, seven women athletes and one male athlete filed the first of two suits in the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS), based in Lausanne, Switzerland, to remedy this situation. They were not asking for anything new. The 50K Race Walk has been on the Olympic program since 1932, save one. All they asked for was that women be included in the event.
The Olympic Charter, which serves as the constitution of the Olympic Movement, guarantees gender
equality and prohibits sex discrimination. Women 50K race walkers want the same opportunity that female marathon runners finally obtained in 1984: to contest their event at the Olympics just like the men do.
The world governing body for track and field, now called World Athletics but until recently known as the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) requested the International Olympic Committee (IOC) to live up to the gender equality provisions of its own Charter and include women in the 2020 Olympic 50K Race Walk, just like the IAAF had been successfully doing in its own World Championships since 2017. But the IOC said “no.” Hence, the legal challenge.
The CAS Court, often dubbed the “world supreme court for sport,” added insult to injury on February 3,
2020. In their just published decisions – after sitting on the case for six months beyond their own self-
imposed deadline – the Court held that it did not have personal jurisdiction over the athletes who brought the claim. Never mind that the Olympic Charter assigns any dispute arising in connection with the Olympic Games exclusively to the CAS Court.
The CAS Court set up a perfect catch-22 in upholding the IOC’s sex discrimination: because a woman 50K race walker is not an Olympic athlete – by virtue of being excluded, of course – she is out of luck. Let’s put it another way: the CAS Court told these women athletes that because they are women, they are not allowed to ask the Court to order the IOC to follow its own constitution. The CAS Court decisions are prime examples of gender discrimination.
The CAS Court cited four of its prior cases as precedent. None of them is on point, as lawyers would say. One of those cases involved the interpretation of the terms of the Code of Ethics, an issue irrelevant to our case. Three other cases dealt with individuals who had been passed over for selection to represent their countries at the Olympics. Other athletes had been selected instead. The Olympic Charter gives discretion to national sports bodies to decide whom to select. The overlooked athlete may qualm with the subjective decision of her or his national federation, but this does not implicate the IOC and does not rise to the type of dispute that involves the wholesale exclusion of more than half the world’s population from an Olympic event based on their gender, an issue that strikes at the heart of the Fundamental Principles of Olympism.
The CAS Court admitted that it has subject-matter jurisdiction. In other words, the Court ruled it could properly decide the exclusion of women at the Olympics but a woman 50K athlete cannot bring a case because she is not an Olympic athlete. Of course, she is not! That’s the whole point of the case.
That’s like telling women who are deprived of the vote based on their gender that they cannot claim unconstitutional gender discrimination in court because they are not voters.
Perhaps it should come as no surprise that the CAS Court ruled as it did. It was created by the IOC, and a prominent IOC member serves as its President. The two lawyers for the IOC in the discrimination case had previously served as CAS arbitrators (judges, really). The Court and the IOC are mere blocks away from each other in the same small, Swiss city of Lausanne.
The IOC is a peculiar institution. It was founded in 1894 by a Frenchman, Pierre de Coubertin, who
handpicked a committee of men to be the IOC. Ever since, those committee members select who their new colleagues will be. Coubertin was the epitome of a sexist. He wanted women excluded from sport. His legacy lives on, albeit in a more subtle fashion. While the current IOC President, German Thomas Bach, goes around collecting “gender equality” awards from well-meaning organizations, behind their back, he stabs women athletes in the back, figuratively speaking (Bach was an Olympic fencing gold medalist).
The IOC is undemocratic. The large world governing bodies in sports, like World Athletics or FIFA (soccer), regularly elect the members of its governing council and its executive leadership. The voting is based on one vote per national member federation. Think of it as similar to a vote in the United Nations General Assembly. Back in December of 2018, democratically elected IAAF Council members voted to request inclusion of women in the 2020 Olympic 50K Race Walk. The internally handpicked IOC denied the request.
This dynamic points to a larger issue in sports. The IOC demands adherence to its rules and wishes before allowing any sport, discipline or event to be on the Olympic program. International sports federations are happy to oblige, because ever since the commercial success of the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, the Olympic Movement has generated a giant cash cow for the IOC. Part of that largesse is distributed by the IOC to the various federations. The money flow creates a dependency, whereby international federations are quick to give in to Olympic demands. This way, the IOC will end up writing all the sports rule books. It was not always so. Before this monetary dependence started, the IAAF organized its first World Championships in 1976 just for the Men’s 50K Race Walk Event, courtesy of the IOC having axed the event at that year’s Montreal Olympics. One Olympiad later, the 50K was back.
More recently, in 2017, the IOC once again wished to rid the Olympics of the 50K. Too long, the IOC said. Not enough broadcast interest, they said. And get this, not gender equal. But when the IAAF remedied the latter, the IOC did not want gender equality in the event. Why not? Because gender equality would most likely result in the survival of the 50K as an Olympic event.
The real reason the 50K is a thorn in the Olympic eye is that the event does not bring revenue into the
Olympic coffers. Attending Olympic race walk events is free to the public. And fair enough, having Usain Bolt on the track sells tickets. But not so much for Matej Tóth. Who? Hence, staging this four-hour-plus event costs the IOC money in logistical arrangements. Being sexist about the 50K race walk is the IOC’s way to look out for their financial bottom line. Forget gender equality, forget sports, forget the Olympic Charter, forget justice. This is all about the almighty Swiss franc.
The time has come to scrutinize the corporate governance structures and finances of the IOC. Maybe the CAS Court ruling, as bad as it is, may help with that. Athletes may instead turn to their own nations’ courts to combat Olympic ills. Antitrust law and European competition rules may come into play. With the next two Olympics after Tokyo being held in Paris (2024) and Los Angeles (2028), courts in those locales may not be as solicitous of the IOC as the CAS Court has proven to be. Perhaps athletes will turn to their legislatures and demand accountability, transparency and democracy from the IOC, the National Olympic Committees and the Local Olympic Organizing Committees.
Unfortunately, all of that will come too late for those women athletes whose quest for an end to sexism wasturned down by the CAS Court because of one jurisdictional defect: they are women.
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
50K nationals 2020 is in the books!
Hello from cold, snowy and icy upstate NY! I'm finally home with real internet service, happily sitting on the couch watching TV in English and cuddling with my cats. Feels like heaven. I'm hoping to write a post on my experience training in Ecuador for the month before the race, but for now I'd like to share about the race in Santee, California on January 25th. The race that was the Men's 50K Olympic Trials and the women's 50K national championships.
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| Start of the women's and international and masters men's 50K |
Historically in Santee we've had crazy hot weather for that time of year. One year the temperature got up to about 86F (30C) and the ambient temperature on the pavement was insane. This year we started off I think around 45F (7C) with a really nice mist in the air. That misty fog stayed around for a good couple hours before burning off and the sun coming out. For me it never got to feeling that hot. What I noticed more was that it seemed dry. Near the end by the time I was getting back around to the aid table (1.25K loops) my mouth was getting dry. I wasn't necessarily thirsty, just dry mouth. I know for Dave it felt warm, but that's because he's been in the cold, icy mess that is upstate NY at this time of year.
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| AJ and Dr. Tina Nagle |
Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself! First, I want to make sure I get the thanks out there. I knew that if I was training in Ecuador for a month my body would be out of alignment. Ever since my accident my body can be... shall we say... temperamental. My spine will go out of alignment and I'll lose all power and strength in my stride. Sometimes if I see a new chiropractor they don't really know the intricacies of my neck and can actually make things worse. So my chiropractor took three days off work to come out and make sure my body was in the best possible condition it could be. Words will never be able to express how thankful I am to her for doing that! Because wow did I need her! My body was just about sideways by the time I got to California between the training in Ecuador and the 18 hours of plane flights/travel. There is zero chance I would've raced as well as I did if it wasn't for her. If you're ever in the Southern Tier of NY and need a chiropractor there is absolutely no one better than Dr. Tina Nagle!!!!!!!! From the bottom of my sore feet to the top of my head, thank you!
With the new Safesport rules we thought that we would have to have a safesport checked and verified person at the aid station. Those rules were subsequently loosened to have a waiver for people, but before we knew that I told our friend Brett Shelton and he immediately jumped into action. He also took three days off work so he could come out and do our aid. And he did amazing! I never had to worry about anything, things were waiting for me when I came by. He was always positive and happy and encouraging. If you haven't done a 50K you don't realize the importance of a solid aid person. It can literally make or break your race at times. Well, with Brett our race was made becuase he was amazing. I can't thank him enough for the time he took for us to help us reach our dreams.
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| AJ by the flame |
On to the races! I had four athletes competing; myself (yes, I count myself as my athlete because I coach myself) Dave, AJ and Lydia. Dave and AJ were entered in the Olympic Trials and started at 7:00. Lydia and myself were in the open 50K that started at 7:20. Everyone had their race plan, their goals and their motivation. I had a feeling it was going to be a good day and it was.
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| AJ racing strong. You can see how nice and foggy the race started off. |
AJ went into the race seeded 4th which is where he placed. He had a strong race, not as good timewise as we needed, but he kept pushing and never gave up. We have some things to work on and improve, but not too shabby for his first Olympic Trials!
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| Isn't he cute! I think we make a good tired and sweaty post 50K race couple. Photo Credit Karen Beth Pearlman |
Dave went into the race with his goals. He held pace for about half the race and slowed a bit. Some people passed him, he passed some back at the end. His finishing time of 5:06:52 was an improvement from his last 50K in hotter conditions and placed him seventh and in the money position. And that improvement came while training in snow and ice and temperatures that were sometimes 17F (-8C). I couldn't be prouder of him.
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| Lydia finding her 100% even before the race. She always finds it when she needs it! |
Lydia came into the race not quite 100% physically but 100% mentally. She amazes me with her positive mindset and positive outlook. When the race turned from what she wanted she was able to turn her mind from that disappointment into what positives she saw. I knew I never had to tell her to just keep going. I knew there was no way she'd stop. Her strength and determination kept her in fourth place, an awesome showing.
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| Later the mist burned off to bright sunny blue skies. |
I know the most about my race, since I raced it. :) I started off way slower than I thought I was going, probably because I was colder than I'd been in a month. In hindsight it was a blessing in disguise as it let me really settle into a comfortable pace. I started off in sixth that was actually fifth. I'll explain. We have deadlines for when our national championships are entered. One of the women, Stephanie Casey wasn't entered. My understanding was she wasn't planning on coming but later entered the 10K. I heard that she was convinced to start the 50K to see what happened. But since entries were closed she was entered as a guest, just like international athletes were. So while she was ahead of me she wasn't my competition for our national championship places, prize money or World Athletics bonus points.
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| Getting tired but still pushing. Photo credit: Karen Beth Pearlman |
I was patient because I know what happens in a 50K. I warmed into my pace and was feeling right on that edge of thinking "is this too fast" pace but thought this was a chance to see where I'm at fitness wise. So I kept going. I passed half way in about 2:22:45 and was happy with that. By that point I had moved into fourth (third). Then about 35K or so I moved into third (second). Robyn, the eventual winner was way up, but Stephanie seemed to be not gaining on me and I thought maybe coming back towards me. I knew she wasn't my direct competition, but I thought it was good motivation to keep my time from slowing, so I started trying to work up to her. I think at one point she was about three and a half minutes up on me. That time cut down to just over a minute and kept shrinking. With two laps to go I was about 45 seconds back and with a lap to go I was 15 seconds back. So I put my head down (literally and figuratively) and just gave it what I had. With about 200 or so meters to go I caught her, but she had something left in the tank and was able to pick it up. I knew I was still second in the championships and didn't want to do something stupid like race down the line and get pulled for being off the ground racing against someone who wasn't my competition so I settled and stayed smart. My time of 4:47:01 is my fastest time since 2017. My second half of the race was only about 1:30 slower than my first half. I'm very proud of that.
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| The only thing better than finishing is finishing and then seeing my sweetie! Photo credit: Karen Beth Pearlman |
Another thing I'm very proud of is I got no paddles or cards. My technique feels stronger and more solid than it ever has. I've really been working on my technique and my glute and core strength and it's paying off. There's more to be gained there too! Which is really exciting.
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| With the wonder Chloe!!!! One of my biggest fans!!! Photo credit: Karen Beth Pearlman |
So Team Fashizzle (as one of my younger athletes calls me and the athletes I coach) did fantastic. Second, two Fourths and a Seventh. I'm not sure who all the athletes in the 50K are coached by (but I know most....) and I think we were the biggest team in the 50K. I'm very proud of all the hard work that all of the athletes that I coach put in. They really do inspire me to work harder and keep going and to try and be a good model for them.
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| Lydia and I getting our age group awards. I really am not posing, I don't even know how to pose. |
One thing that's really hard for me, being a coach and athlete, is not feeling like I am able to coach athletes during the race as much as I'd like. I realize that an athlete must do the race themselves, but I love cheering and yelling and helping with splits and being supportive more than I can do while I'm also racing. I'm very thankful that the athletes I coach are understanding of this.
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| The Shore AC crew! It's thanks to Elliott Denman and the Sore AC's support that so many of us are where we are today. Their support means the world to us! |
Now it's time to recover and figure out goals for the rest of the year. Both AJ and I made the team to Belarus, so that's obviously on the radar. I'm very excited to have made another (I think tenth?!?!?!) national team.
To the people who continued to believe in me through the few lean years. If you continue to believe in yourself and keep working it is possible to turn things back around.
Stay tuned for more!!!
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| "Boss" and "The Kid" |
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| Lydia and her amazing support team. 50K athletes can't do it without our support!!! |
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
National 30K results and catch up
Wow, it's been a while since I posted. I guess that's because things have been so up and down lately and I've barely known which way is up. And training has been at times nonexistent. I started having major problems with my stomach, lots of pain and cramping that would lead to desperately needing the restroom during a workout and leave me feeling completely depleted and have no energy. The episodes were taking all my electrolytes, so once that happened I was toasted. After a race in Ohio I had an episode with a ton of blood and that got us a bit worried so I went to the doctor.
The doctor referred me to a specialist. He ordered a bunch of tests including an endoscopy and colonoscopy, yay!!!!! It definitely could've been worse, but not a ton of fun. All the tests came back negative, which on the one hand was good, but on the other still left me not knowing why my stomach was hurting so much and why I couldn't get through a long workout.
Long story short, after working with another doctor (because the specialist actually still hasn't called me with those results, I had to find out from my GP, even though the test was around 2.5 weeks ago...) and we figured that I had some sort of parasite. It could've been left over from all the antibiotics I took back in January/February. I had been feeling for a few months like I was constantly almost getting strep throat again and exhausted and really just wanting to lay on the couch. I had some good training in Hungary and that probably lowered my immune system enough that it tipped me just a bit over the edge.
I've since gone on some natural antibiotics and some herbs and stuff. And thank goodness, I FINALLY AM FEELING BETTER!!!!! I feel more like my old self than I have at all this year. The stupid strep throat really took my body for a ride. I hadn't felt good all year. So it's nice to finally be having some energy again. My stomach is still hurting but we figured that is actually caused by stress. So I'm trying to manage that. I've had some days where I almost feel like I'm having a panic attack and just have to sort of chill, but I think it's getting under control.
I was both looking forward to and dreading the 30K. I really want to be in good shape, but training has been spotty. I figured I'd go to have fun and see what I could do and just think about it as a good training walk. The nice thing was with multiple athletes racing, one who is pretty new, I had lots of things to focus on before the race other than me. :) More about them soon!
The race started off and I got into a nice comfortable groove. I hoped I could keep it up, but I wanted to push the whole race so I kept the foot off the pedal a little. I was feeling good through 10K, and wasn't thinking hardly at all since I was spending most of the time trying to get Lydia to follow her race plan, so time flew by. At 15K I was still feeling great. I did my second 10K faster than my first to finish off my 20K. Around 22K I started to catch up to Maria who had walked a hard 20K and was doing a 10K chaser/cool down to finish off the 30K. I decided that was good motivation to keep pushing and caught up to her and chatted for a bit and pulled a way a bit. Basically I had unlapped myself from her. It was a nice mental push to keep going and I ended with my last 10K being my fastest. My 5K splits were as follows:
28:56, 28:50, 28:40, 28:33, 28:07, 28:32
Which gave me 10K splits of:
57:46, 57:13 and 56:39
And halves of:
1:26:26, 1:25:14
Really couldn't be much happier with that. But the best part of the day was what my athletes did!!!
First up is Dave!!! At the age of 59 he qualified for his 4th Olympic Trials event walking a single age best of 5:07:26!!!! That got him 7.5 minutes under the qualifying time. He raced super smart, starting off really easy and controlled. He maybe started to make his move just a little early and slowed just a smidge his last 6K, but he looked strong and smooth throughout. Never did he look like he was death marching. I couldn't be more proud of him!
Lydia came through in a new 50K PB breaking 5 hours for the first time! Her time of 4:56:48 is really solid and expect more to come from her! Especially once we get her to really commit to following her race plan!
Siobhan is relatively new to race walking, having just started this summer. This was her second race walking race and first time she's really been away from her family. She handled it like a champ and did over a 5 minute personal best at the 5K distance! Which is HUGE! She still has to learn to have faith and believe in herself and she's going to start really turning some heads!
AJ also did a 50K. We've been working on his nutrition plan and had great success with that. It ended up being his second fastest 50K ever, so pretty darned happy about that. A solid foundation is being laid that's going to really push him forward come January and the 50K Olympic Trials!
Adrianna wasn't at the 30K, but did a local 5K race and broke 30 minutes. She's another one that's going to be surprising some people soon!
For the national 30K Siobhan won the 5K. I came in second overall in the 50K and first masters, Lydia was 3rd overall and 2nd master. AJ was second overall and Dave was third overall and first master. AJ was the second male 50K finisher and Lydia was third overall and first female in the 50K. Not a bad haul for the day! Seeing how hard they work definitely inspires me to keep working too!
Onward and upward. Keep working hard, keep pushing, never lose sight of your dreams!
Friday, July 19, 2019
The start of a comeback? NCCWMA 10K
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| Photo credit: Dan Slovitt |
Brother, it's been a while since I've written. This has been for a few reasons. 1. I've been super busy. 2. I haven't had much of anything interesting to post in the world of race walking. 3. I've been super down and just haven't wanted to.
The past few years have been rough. Coming back from hip surgery has been interesting. I can't blame my lack of results on it at all, I had a great PT helping me and things seem good. I've gotten sick a few times which have really thrown me for a loop, especially the Strep Throat I got in January that lingered for about 4.5 months. That really threw me for a loop physically and especially mentally.
Sports at a high level (I'm not going to use the word elite) is a funny thing. There's this mystique wrapped around it. Athletes are supposed to be tough, breaking through incredible hardships to strive for their dreams and goals. We're supposed to be almost super human!! And then we reach the podium and everything is rose colored.
Reality really isn't like that. We go through so much self doubt. I have self doubt. I have self doubt ALL THE TIME. And for me personally, since I constantly feel like people don't believe I can achieve the things I believe I can, I'm afraid to show any weakness. Because if I do then that will just lead them to say, see, just like I thought.
It's easy to say, just don't worry about what others think. For the most part I'd like to think that I'm someone who doesn't really care what people think, but I still do. I know that I have achieved some awesome things in my sports career, things that no other woman will be able to say that they've done. And very few people give me credit for those things that I've done. I'm learning to care less about it and just be proud of myself, but if I'm being honest about it, it's hard when I see how others get treated now for doing the things I did 5 years ago and I was ignored and they are celebrated. And I think that's a natural and reasonable thing to feel. And I'm learning to handle it.
With the ongoing fight for the women's 50K it's been taking a real toll on me mentally. I've been fighting/pushing/trying for 50K equality since 2011. That's 8 years of nearly constant pushing. That is a long, long time. And it has really, really beaten me down.
So I went through a phase where I was pretty depressed. I didn't want to get off the couch. I barely was able to do things I would normally do. And I had little to no desire to train. I would force myself sometimes, but then just be down about how slow I was. Then I turned a bit to food and gained about 15 pounds. So now on top of it all I'm super duper self conscious about my figure.
One reason I've always been afraid to talk about what's been going on with myself is because I'm a coach. I want to always, 100% be there for my athletes. Sometimes I can't, and they know that. they know when I'm away at a competition I'm not available as much. But I never, ever want the athletes that I coach to feel like they can't come to me because I'm having a rough patch. So I held it inside. This hit me really hard when I was about to talk to one of the athletes I coach and tell her just a little bit about the rough patch I'd been going through when she said something along the lines of, "you're so tough, you can handle anything." I realize I should tell her that it's not really true, I'm human like everyone else. I struggle, I cry, I yell and I get frustrated. But it took me so much by surprise and I didn't want to let her down that I stayed silent. Soon I will get up the courage to tell her I'm not everything she thinks I am.
The clincher though was when I was working with my doctor because I was just so exhausted that it seemed something was wrong and we started looking into things and we came to the conclusion that I was starting to show some pre-chronic fatigue type symptoms. That freaked me out!
So I've been cutting out as much stress in my life as possible and feeling better already. We had the national 40K a few weeks ago and my friend stayed with us and it was so nice to train with her and have fun and I felt excited again. I raced the 40K, did the first 5K with an athlete, then another few K with another athlete and then settled into my race around 8K in. I negative split the race and finished with a 5:35K and that made me feel awesome! Was my time "good"? Depends on your definition. If we're looking at elite level, no. But it fulfilled a purpose and gave me hope.
Training has been getting better. Not perfect, but better. I find if something stressful happens my body still has a very strong stress reaction and I have to just honor it and go with it. I had a long session planned for the day the calf died and it was so emotional that when I tried to do my session I just couldn't. At first I tried to tell myself that I should be tougher than that, stop being a wimp! But no, I needed to be kind to myself. So I listened to my body, did what I needed to do, and moved forward.
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| photo credit Dan Slovitt. Lydia rocked it! I love racing with athletes I coach :) |
When I came up here to Toronto for the Norther American, Central and Caribbean Master's championships (NCCWMA) I came to have some fun. I just wanted to race and see people and enjoy being out. And yesterday that's what I did! I did have a time goal (of course). I wanted to go sub 54:00 for the 10K, but didn't know if that was realistic. The night before the race I could barely move. But the morning of the race the temperature was decently cool for what it has been so that felt good. The course was.... decent. There were speed bumps that really took me off stride the last few Ks and the pavement was a bit broken up in spots and it was probably the narrowest course I've ever raced on. But I've been on much, much worse courses before. The humidity was fairly oppressive, but I've been training in worse. It seemed that a lot of people were a minute or two off their usual times. So when I finished at 53:53 I was quite happy. My second 5K was slower than my first, which I don't really like, but I'm still happy with my pacing/racing. It felt so good to be out pushing and breathing hard again!
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| very cool and big medal! |
So maybe this is the real start of the comeback. I have a long way to go to get back to holding that pace for an entire 50K, but I've done it before and I believe I can do it again. And you know what? If you don't think I can do it again just keep it to yourself because I believe it and that's what matters. However, if you believe it too and want to be supportive then let it flow! Imagine what the world could be like if we all supported each other!
The 5,000 for NCCWMA is Sunday, so that'll be fun! And Saturday I'm really going to have some fun, I'm going to throw the discus!!! I haven't thrown seriously since high school. I've been practicing and have thrown a few out there a decent distance, so I think it'll be a good competition!
After that I'm going to go to Hungary to train with my friend and do some fun races. I'm going to enjoy life, train hard, clean up my eating, and get back to what I love. Training, racing, meeting people, seeing places and enjoying myself.
People have always asked me when I'll stop race walking. My answer has always been "until I'm not having fun anymore." I almost got to that point a number of times in the last few years. I really contemplated stopping competitive race walking and shifting my focus to other things. But I'm not ready to stop yet. I know I can still achieve some things I want to achieve. So that's what I'll do :)
Never give up. Talk to people if you need people to talk to. I am always here to listen if you need someone to talk to. My house is always a safe place. My private messages on FB are always open if you need. Never feel alone. Never feel like it's hopeless. Never feel like there's not someone you can talk to.
Happy training!
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| Photo Credit Vlado Haluska. This was from the national 40K, and I just LOVE this picture!!! |
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Pan Am Cup - Mexico!!!
Whew! What a trip! What a race! What an experience! So much pre, during and post race I barely know where to start. Strap in, this could be a long one...
I guess I'll start with the time around the race itself. Getting to Lazaro Cardanas is not an easy feat. It required two-ish days of travel with staying the night in Houston. I've never really broken travel up like that and I'm not a huge fan of it. I know why we did it,and it made sense, but I like to just get there. Our flight from Houston to Mexico City was late and we had to rush to make our connection, and while we made it our bags didn't. They showed up the next day, but unfortunately a bunch of my teammates bags were opened and stuff was stolen. That's the downside of traveling with USA on your bag, everyone thinks we have awesome stuff, which we do tend to have cool stuff, don't get me wrong. Everyone was well prepared though and had their racing kit on their carry on so nothing catastrophic.
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| With silver medalist Joanna! She's very active in the fight for women's equality in the 50K. She raced so smart and hard! |
It was fantastic to see all my friends again, both domestic and international! Over the 9 US teams I've made I've met so many amazing people, it's great to be able to see them again. The city was interesting, we were about a 10 minute walk from the course and from where lunch and dinner were held. I didn't end up going to do anything touristy like see the beach, but that's okay.
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| Luckily they bumped the start time up 30 minutes, which meant getting there in the wee hours when things were calm and quiet. I love starting off races this way. |
The course was nice, a 2K loop with slight rise and fall. In the morning there was shade, but by about 10 or so there basically wasn't any left. I've done somewhere around 20 different 50Ks and I can say that this was the hottest 50K I've ever done!
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| I'm not a great photographer and this was just off my phone, but the moon was amazing. |
The race itself. I knew it was going to be brutal. I spent 2.5 weeks in Arizona training to try and get some heat training, but it never got super hot there, still better than at home where I was training the week of the race and it snowed. So I knew my body was not going to enjoy the heat at all.
I started off very easy. I honestly thought it was going to be easy enough. I felt great thanks to our awesome physio, everything was working super smooth. Then about 8K I got bit by a bug. I have no idea what bug it was. About a K later my hands went fuzzy numb, then a little bit after that my eyesight basically went fuzzy and dark. I could sort of see where I was going, but not really well. I could at least see well enough to turn, other than that it was just go straight and find the bottles that were being handed to me. My heart rate went up about 15-20 beats a minute. It was wild. I really hope to never experience that again! That lasted for somewhere around 8-10K I think? Then little by little I started to feel better and my heart rate calmed. I picked things up a little, which in hindsight was probably a mistake. Because after a while I most definitely hit a wall. My whole body had locked up. When I saw the massage therapist later he said my entire back was one big solid mass of not moving, going all the way around the front and constricting my breathing.
Sure, there were times where dropping out crossed my mind. Let's be honest, it crosses most everyone's mind at some point, that's a 50K! But I wanted to finish really, really bad. So I just kept trucking. I interacted with the crowd. I cheered for my competition, I smiled as much as I could.
And I finished! I think it was my second slowest time ever, but I finished. There were a lot of guys who didn't finish. I finished. I was stronger than the 50K.
There's no way I could've done it without Emmanuel Corvera! The day after he rocked his 20K he came out and did my aid. Talk about amazing and selfless! He was always right there ready to give me what I needed and with a supportive word or two or ten. Tom and Susan were right there cheering for me, making me smile and being awesome! People who haven't done a 50K don't realize how important the aid person is. Really my success is their success, because especially in that heat there is no way I could've done it off just water. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Our physio, Ed, is a magician! Seriously, he works miracles! And our massage therapist had the magic touch. They got me loose and ready to go and got me moving again after the race. I'm so thankful and appreciative of them.
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| Me and my athletes. Super proud of Lydia and AJ! |
One thing I'm super proud of is that of the 7 50K athletes on Team USA I coach two of them! I'm so proud of AJ and Lydia! Lydia did a PB in that nasty weather!!!! Can you believe it!!!! She raced hard and most importantly she raced smart and with patience! AJ suffered in the heat, but did not give up, making sure to finish and doing everyone proud. I'm super proud of both those guys!
Sixteen women started the race, 15 finished. The one who didn't was a DQ, so she didn't voluntarily drop out. That makes me so happy! Take that all those people who say women aren't tough enough to do a 50K!!! There were some really smart races, and some not as smart races, but everyone kept pushing and fighting.
I think this is long enough for a read. I'll write another one soon about some of the demons that were vanquished ;)
Keep walking everyone! Find your dream and go after it!
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| Might have gotten a little sun??? |
Friday, January 25, 2019
First 50K of the 2019 season is tomorrow!
Wooooo!!!!! I am excited! First 50K of 2019 and the start of a new season and a new focus and a new me.
The last two years have been crazy. Finally getting 50Ks into the world champs for women and then getting DQed led to being really frustrated and low on motivation. So I made 2018 a fun year and did some longer stuff. Finishing Paris-Alsace was a HUGE bucket list item for me and is on my top 5 greatest accomplishments. We had fun in Spain for World Masters and I had some decent performances. Then things went downhill a bit. I lost motivation again. Dave and I also made a huge investment and bought some properties in the next town over to renovate and rent. We have been working like fiends trying to get stuff done. Honestly at the expense of our training. But it was fun, we were working together and setting us up for a great future, so it was worth it.
Then in the beginning of December I finally got my Mojo back! Going to Monaco to lobby for the women's 50K and seeing all the support really got me fired back up! So I started really training again and it felt amazing. I was involved in a study seeing how weight training affects runners and was some of the strongest I have ever been and I could really tell when I started walking. I felt strong in ways I'd never felt strong before.
The weather at home wasn't super cooperative. So I spent a fair amount of time training indoors at the school I coach for. That meant limited times I could workout. Three days a week I held morning practices before school. Morning practice was the only time I could get access to the gym so my field event kids could practice. (this really paid off as my thrower has absolutely crushed it, breaking the school record four times and is up to 34' 9"!) Practice starts at 5:30 and if I want to walk before that I have to start even earlier. So some days I'd start my workouts at 4:00. Since I was staying up late working on our properties it led to getting tired. I'd take naps during the day, but it was still rough.
It's been such a weird year in terms of weather everyone was getting sick. Half of the kids who showed up to practice were sick and all sorts of stuff was running around the school. So I was working as hard as I could to stay healthy.
Along the way I started putting in some really good sessions, doing two of my fastest 40Ks since January of 2017. The national 5K didn't go well, I felt really off and didn't know why. Ends up it was because I had an ear infection. Two and a half weeks before the race I went to the walk in clinic because I was just feeling off and that's when I found out about the ear infection and that I also had strep throat. Not exactly the lead up I was hoping for!
With our renovations we are getting a building ready to be a salon. It's a HUGE space and we have a deadline of February 1st. Some things took longer than expected so we've been working overtime. The Monday and Tuesday before the race Dave and I installed about 600 square feet of hardwood flooring. They were small pieces. Over 48 hours I spent about 26 of them bent over cutting pieces and nailing them in.
But you know what? I'm so excited for tomorrow! I'm always excited about a 50K. I can't wait to see where I'm at. I have goals, I have processes to focus on. I'm excited about the other women who are out there racing. Tomorrow's race was never the focus of my season. It's a long year with some important goal races, and tomorrow is the least important of them. I have a plan, I have motivation, I have support. I have awesome athletes who motivate and inspire me and remind me what's important. Tomorrow is going to be awesome!
I love my sport. I love the 50K. And I can't wait to toe the line tomorrow!
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Malaga 20K
We're back home! Boy it's good to be home! I love traveling so much, but I do love being home too.
The 20K race was the strangest race I think I've ever raced, and that's saying something since I've raced A LOT of races in all my (many) years. I'm going to attempt to recap it as accurately as possible and share all the things that I was feeling and thinking. My hope is someone might have some ideas for what went on. So if anything rings a bell for you please speak up!
After the 10K and being so tired from all the travel to Morocco we tried to take it a bit easier. We still wanted to see Malaga though, so still walked around. And Wednesday (two days before the race) we ended up walking WAY more than we meant to, but it was awesome. Thursday we rested quite a bit but my workouts were still just blech. Dave came and watched me Wednesday and gave some good feedback so I felt like my technique was solid.
Friday morning I was getting ready to go and I just felt.... blech I guess is the way to describe it. I barely felt like warming up and mentally part of me didn't even feel like racing. Things just felt off. But I figured once the gun went off my competitive spirit would kick in. I started off not at the front of the line so it took me about 1.5K to get caught up to the leaders. I felt great! I was so surprised at how different I felt than my warm up! I was going at a decent clip and it felt smooth and easy and my breathing was low.
The weather was heating up and it was very humid. Even with that I still felt great. Then at 6K the wheels fell off. My right butt started to hurt. That K slowed down about 30 seconds! It wasn't a slow down from starting too fast, not with that much of an instant slow down. Then my right leg basically went numb. It was the weirdest feeling. Luckily I didn't get knee paddles, so I guess muscle memory stayed in place and I knew what to do, but if my knee had started to bend I probably wouldn't have been able to feel it.
Mentally I was so frustrated. To have gone from not really wanting to race to the lead to slamming back was just throwing my mind everywhere. I was still in third in my age group. But most importantly to me was the team. With myself, Stacy Trogner and Katie Grimes having moved down in age groups to join us we had a team. If I DNFed then we would have no chance of a team score and that would've really been unfair to Katie as she could've moved to another age group. So even though for about 3-4K I really wanted to stop because of how my leg felt I didn't want to stop because I didn't want to let my teammates down. I know how frustrating it is to see your teammate stop and make it so you have no team score.
I kept going and kept pushing. I got into a decent rhythm and luckily continued to stay in third. I was drinking each lap and throwing water on me. With about 3K to go I had about 30 seconds on 4th place. Then, fairly suddenly, my whole body started to tingle. My hands, feet, arms, everything. My sight got sort of weird fuzzy. I could see but it was just strange. I tried to start pushing and slowed down.
Next I got probably the biggest side stitch that I've gotten since 8th grade. I actually do remember the side stitch I got in the 8th grade, it was that bad. And this was right there with it. I ended up walking a bit with my arm up in the air to try and stretch it out it was that bad.
I have never got numb or tingling like that before. The original pain in my right butt I think might have been from the really, really tight 180 degree turns. I saw a number of athletes shuffle around them. I won't do that. I will race walk every step of my race, even if the corners are tight. I remember going around once and feeling a spot as I tried to turn harder. I would lose a lot of momentum each turn so I was trying to push more getting around it, but that might have been bad for my butt.
I ended up coming in third, which I am proud of. And, even better, we got silver in the team competition. I am so proud of my teammates who worked so hard to earn that silver! And I don't know what I would've done without Dave doing my aid. He was the best! He got me my drinks every time, cheered, supported and helped me do my best. That is the best thing about racing at different times, although it makes for long day where I race in the morning and he races in the evening. And it means that world that he would come out and stand for all that time in the sun and heat before his race to support me for mine.
I've left Malaga with an individual gold and bronze and a team silver. One of each! I raced, saw amazing sights, made new friends, hung out with old friends, ate amazing food and had fun. I definitely didn't race up to my current potential, but I'm okay with that. I made that decision when I raced on the Isle of Man a few weeks ago knowing that I wouldn't be 100% recovered. Of course when you're in the heat of the competition it's hard to remember that. Live and learn!
I'm so proud of how Dave raced, just a few weeks after a world leading 100 mile time he did amazing. I'm so glad we were able to go and experience new cultures and have fun and race. Race walking is so awesome in so many ways!
Now it's time to rest a bit and then get going on 50K training!
Thursday, September 6, 2018
World Master's 5,000 in the books!
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| Photo credit Tammy Stevenson |
Oh my gosh, I won! I can't believe it! But I'll start back a bit....
Dave and I had a nice and uneventful flight to Malaga and got our luggage! What a relief! We made it to the hotel just fine and took a nap. I know, you're not supposed to, but we were tired and wanted to be rested more than we wanted to get on the right time zone.
We had a few days to goof around and get the lay of the land and get our credentials. We found the Canadian race walkers who are always wonderful to hang out with. We watched some races at the track and got excited. I did a few easy sessions and by the day before the race I was moving decently well and thought cool, I can have some fun!
As I posted on my FB page this has been a massive year. I've raced three 50Ks, an 85K, a 300K stage race and a 100K race. The 100K race was two weeks ago, so I am in no way fresh. Especially since after the 100K I got sick and it just would not let go of me and hung around for just over a week.
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| Photo Credit: Tammy Stevenson |
As most athletes are I am a very competitive person. I can smack talk a game of Yahtzee like nobody! ;) But I went into coming to this race with the view of having fun. I thought after the Isle Of Man I'd be pretty tired and didn't want to do anything to hurt myself, so I tried to take expectations away.
And one thing I tried, and again I posted this on FB, was I raced in a crop top, something I've never done because of a poor body image. For those of you who posted to my FB page in support THANK YOU! It made me feel amazing! I really, really appreciate it! But I was going to the start line feeling more self conscious than I normally would.
The Women's 35 and 40 were racing together, so there were a decent number of ladies on the start line. I knew I wanted to get out quick to get out of the mess. They lined us up and the gun went off and I went right to the front and.... they shot the gun again! They called us back to the line! I've never actually been in a race walking race what got recalled. It felt kind of cool, like I was a sprinter or something. It wasn't that anyone actually false started, there was a problem at the finish line. So we all lined up again.
The thought went through my mind, since I was getting a second chance to start a race, and who ever really gets that, of do I start off differently? Did I hit it out too fast? But I thought, nah, go with it! So the gun went off again and I again went to the front. I came through 200 in about :55, well faster than I knew I could do the whole race, but my plan was to go out, get out of the mess and then settle. So I spent the next 200 or so gradually slowing the pace. I fully expected that when I eased back I would get passed. That was my expectation. Imagine my surprise when that didn't happen! I was actually a bit confused! From 200 to 600 was around a 1:57, a pace I was much happier with, so I settled around in there or a bit slower. Again no one was passing me! And it sounded like the breathing of the ladies behind me was a bit labored. At that point my breathing wasn't hard at all. And they were taking water early, something I didn't do until around 7 laps in.
I decided to just keep pushing. The American age group record for 3,000 was 15:11, something I thought I could break on the way, so I pushed a bit for that. I was satisfied to come through in 14:52! After that I slowed a bit, to around 5:08 per K to finish in 25:08. I kept expecting people to catch me. I even mouthed over to Dave to tell me how far back second was. When he told me 50 meters I was quite surprised. So I finished comfortable. I could've pushed harder and broken 25, which would've been nice, but I didn't really see a point. I was comfortable in 1st and there's still the 10K and 20ks to go. There are more women racing in the 10Ks too, so there will be more competition which will be fun!
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| Photo Credit: Tammy Stevenson |
Once the gun went off I didn't think about my top at all, it was quite comfortable. So yay!
I was asked if I did well because I took the pressure off myself. I honestly think the answer to that is no. Because even if I'd wanted to win I probably would've gone out the same pace and the result probably would've been identical. I just went to walk my race and I did and on that day I came across the line first.
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| Photo Credit: Dave Talcott |
Now we'll go spend a few days in Morocco and then come back for the 10K. I have no idea if I'll be able to do any workouts while I'm there, so that should be interesting preparation for the 10K. But I still hold true to my thoughts that I'm here to have fun and just enjoy myself.
Happy training everyone!
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
Isle of Man Centurion Race - Recap
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| Sunset on the beach in Kirk Michael |
Another trip to the wonderful Isle of Man! Boy do I love it there! The people are friendly, helpful and wonderful. The island is beautiful, and the population understands endurance walking.
But of course all good things must have drama! Which started off with us arriving and our bags not. We always carry our competition gear with us, so we had our shoes and a set of racing kit, but for a race as long as 100 miles there's a LOT more equipment needed. We had packed a lot of food with us that we knew we'd want that we didn't know if we'd be able to replicate. Our wonderful and lovely hosts, James and Sarah jumped to the occasion and Sarah was just about to open her wardrobe to me when they came. Ended up I still raided her closet, but I'll get to that in a bit.
We arrived and went for a nice walk on the beach, ate some fish and chips, bought the rest of the food stuff we'd need, and went to the pre-race party and met the Mayor of Douglass.
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| Selfie with the May of Douglass |
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| A warm welcome |
The race started at noon on Saturday. We arrived and got the tent set up, which would become a lifesaver later in the night.
Started off great, nice and relaxed and easy. I went through 50K a touch over 6 hours, which is so funny when I think that I'll be working towards racing a 50K over 90 minutes faster than that. Had to take a few potty breaks, but that's expected and I had that scheduled in. I would go between race walking with my arms up and then putting them down to move things around. Being on a track I found my arms/back/neck got way tighter than on a road course, so I was working really hard on keeping them loose.
Then, about midnight it started to rain and get super windy. It didn't get really cold, but the wind and rain got nuts. I had a rain coat on, but no rain pants on. My legs and core got wet and I started to get chilled. About that time James started having some issues and Sarah was helping him. In the meantime I stopped eating and drinking and my brain started to get fuzzy. Then I don't remember too much for a while, I was just walking in circles. I started to chatter and shiver like crazy. I think people were talking to me but I'm not entirely sure. At one point Sarah grabbed my arm and swung me off the track, shoved me in the tent and put warm drink in my hand. We then spent about 20 minutes getting soaking wet clothes off me, dry stuff one and in the sleeping bag to warm up. She got me some oatmeal to eat too. I don't know what I would've done without her!
I laid down for about 30 minutes or so and contemplated life. By this time a fair amount of time had gone by. I started doing the math of what kind of pace I would have to do to finish. Before the race I started to feel like maybe I was getting sick, I ignored the feeling because it doesn't do any good at that point. But now I was starting to feel even worse. I will admit, I was thinking about having to walk another 10 hours straight with no break in the wind and rain and cold and I just didn't want to.
When I went to Paris-Alsace the only way I was going to stop was if I timed out or got injured. I didn't have that feeling before this race. I had Spain in my mind and needing to get ready for 50K training.
I was 12 laps short of 100K, so I decided I would finish off the 100K and call it a night. I would bundle myself up and, thanks to having raided Sarah's closet before the race, had enough clothes to put on after. So I got back up and trudged through 12 more laps. The first 50K took me 6 hours, the second took around 8.5, but that was with an hour and a half of not being on the track. I would love to race a 100K sometime.
I then went to the clubhouse and laid on some chairs for about an hour and ended up getting chilled again. So went to the tent and put 6 layers of long sleeves on. That finally kept me warm and dry!
Then I went to the aid table to help Dave. He was still going like a machine! Since he's got the most incredible internal combustion engine he never put any different clothes on the entire race. The wind and rain did take a toll, it's be impossible not to with the wind on the back straight, but he stayed so strong the whole time. He ended up being only a few minutes off his time from Owego last year and only about 5 minutes off the American 100 mile track record. I know he would've gotten it if it hadn't been for the weather. His goal going into this race was to get the next available Centurion number. His US number is 88. The next one up was 1188. And he did it! I'm super proud of him :)
At first I was thinking I sure felt awfully sore for only doing 100K. Then I was like, wait a minute, I did 100K!
Monday we had a nice relaxing morning and a yummy breakfast courtesy of James' awesome cooking. We went to Peel and had some Isle of Man ice cream and walked around the castle.
Tuesday we headed home after a really bad night's sleep. It was a long day and a lot of flights, but we made it. Then when we were 5 miles from home the girl who was taking care of the animals called. Someone had knocked on the door and asked if she owned the cows, the baby had gotten out. Before we left we had a flood event and the electric fence was shorting somewhere. And it was supposed to rain a bunch just after we left, so to be safe we turned the fence off. The big cows are used to it, but the baby is a little adventurer and found a spot she could squeeze through. By the time we got home, about 5 minutes later, she had already gone back in the fence. But then Dave and I spent about an hour walking the fence line to untwist wires and making sure the fence was okay. Fun stuff to come home to.
Other than that everything was good! A good night sleep was just the thing. Now it's all about getting over being sick and getting ready to race as good as I can in Malaga, Spain for World Masters. I know I won't race as well as I could have had I not done this race, but that was a choice I made and I still stand behind it.
So now it's all about rest, recovery and getting over this darned cold. Then getting as sharp as I can for Malaga. Then a bit of a break and refocus.
Huge thanks to Sarah and James! I don't know what we would've done without them. They picked up up from the airport, opened their home to us, helped us get what we needed, did aid during the race, took care of us after, cooked amazing food, and took us back to the airport. We are so lucky to have met so many wonderful people in our world of walking.
Happy walking!
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| The American Centurions participating in the race. |
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